Falling Hard
by miraline
Summary: What if Robin isn’t the good guy we all know&love.As the sole heir of the Huntingdon fortune he’s both spoiled & manipulative.Marion on the other hand is the girl next door,well not literally,she’s just not quite as flawless &confident as you would expect
1. Bite into the onion

_**Bite into the onion**_

_Deep into the water  
Deep into the dark  
Deep into the places  
Stories have to start  
Peel open the layers  
Go in for the kill  
Bite into the onion  
Taste it for the thrill_

Robert Huntingdon III stared out the office window, absentmindedly listening to the drone of voices. They were only twenty minutes into the meeting, but he was already having a hard time concentrating on the conversation around him.

He knew he was supposed to be listening closely, seeing as it was his fate that was being decided, but his head was pounding and his mind kept drifting elsewhere.

The only reason he had agreed to this meeting in the first place was because his grandfather had insisted. He knew better than to cross his grandfather -- and rarely did.

As the only grandchild of the earl of Huntingdon, he was the sole heir of the Huntingdon fortune – a fate he had come to consider a curse rather than a blessing lately.

The Huntingdon corporation, a family business of real estate development and constructing, had been receiving a constant flow of bad press over the last couple of months. A business deal gone wrong resulting in a lawsuit. Apparently, the situation had reached the point where damage control was deemed necessary. A PR firm had been hired to portray the company as both green and conservative to counter the increasingly shrill and well-documented accusations of exploitation and disregard for the environment.

As the chairman of the company, grandpa Huntington, was to be promoted as a trusted leader and a gentleman of high moral standards and family values. And as the only living relative Robert was expected to play the rôle of the polite, and well mannered grandchild. They would face the enemy with an united front...whatever the hell that meant.

Robert Huntingdon had no interest in the family business what so ever. Robert or Robin as he preferred to call himself was a writer, a book collector, and most recently, a columnist for Nottingham Evening Post, all of this under the pseudonym of Robin Locksley. Although he was not usually paid much for his published pieces, he persisted in the faith that some day he would profit from his writing_._ In the meantime he lived a quite comfortable yet restricted life under his grandfather's guardianship.

His decision to take a different career path from the one his grandfather had laid out for him had come at a steep price. One, it seemed, he would never stop paying. Instead of more freedom, he had wounded up with less.

To make a long story short, Robin had, despite strong protests on his part, been summoned to a meeting with Phil Stephensen, PR agent and professional image consult. To say that he was sceptic about this whole arrangement was an understatement. He had to give grandpa Huntingdon credit for being thorough though. His stab of layers, financial advisors and PR gurus had done their homework and showed up at the meeting well prepared with an eleven pages long analysis of the "dilemma" complete with diagrams, charts and everything.

Impressive but not very exciting….

It didn't take many minutes before Robin was bored to the point of slipping under his chair. Let's just say this was not his idea of a creative meeting. He was on the verge of falling asleep when a certain word filtered through the fog in his head and caught his attention. He snapped back to the conversation like a bucket of cold water had been thrown in his face.

"Excuse me, what did you just say?!," he asked, his voice low and tight, as he turned his attention back to the middle aged man dressed in a horrible Macaroni-blue business suit.

"I was just explaining to your agent that I think it would do wonders for your image to be seen publicly with a girlfriend."

"And the agreed with you?," Robin questioned glaring at Much Miller, his "agent" and good friend, seated on the other side of the table.

"Well, he has some good points… There is a lot at stake here Robin. You should at least hear him out." Much, suggested, nervously glancing down at the table.

"You can't be serious?! Geez, I have said it before and I'll say it again… who I choose to spend my free time with is my business and my business alone!!"

"I know this may sound a bit out of line Mr Huntingdon but bear with me a moment, okay…" Stephensen suggested and pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose before he continued.

"It's not just about the bad press anymore. You have very successfully managed to keep a low profile over the last couple of years. I don't blame you for wanting to keep your private life out of the public eye, but your absence makes it seem as if though you have turned your back on both the company and your grandfather and it's hurti-.. "

"This is absurd! I have already agreed to attend a few social functions alongside my grandfather. I don't see what my love life has to do with anything…" Robin interrupted loudly, rubbing his temples in frustration.

"You promised you would keep an open mind," The PR agent, Stephensen, commented with barely restrained impatience. "Seriously Robin, would it kill you to bring a date to the next public event you go to?! It's all about the image you're projecting and I'm telling you a stable relationship would look good in a situation like the current one."

"He doesn't have a girlfriend," Much offered helpfully, ignoring the angry glares that were sent his way.

"No girlfriend…Okay, we'll have to find someone else for the job then. I'm sure something can be arranged. Didn't I read somewhere that you are schedule to make an appearance at some charity event next month?," the PR agent asked as he shuffled through his papers.

"Aha here it is," he exclaimed as he found the note he had been looking for. "Let's see, august the 20th…. That's gives us a little over three weeks to find him a date," he said to Much as he begun putting his things back into his briefcase. Apparently this meeting was over as far as the PR guru was concerned.

"Mr Miller… Much… thank you for your co-operation and Robin, it was nice meeting you. No hard feelings I hope…I know I can't tell you what to do but I really wish you would consider it..."

"Yeah, sure... what choice do I have?! I'll be hearing about this for weeks." Robin muttered under his breath as they shook hands.

"Oh, one more thing before I go, do yourself a favour Robin and choose someone that isn't too perfect, okay?! If I were you I would go for someone with the "girl next door" kind of vibe. You know someone down to earth with flaws and emotional baggage. The media would love that, trust me."

And with that Stephensen left the room, leaving Robin alone with his thoughts (and his traitor friend).


	2. Falling at your feet

**Falling at your feet**

"_Sparks fly when our world collides and I am falling at your feet."_

* * *

Chilly winds whipped past Marian Fitzwalter as she stepped out of the office complex and began walking towards her car, which was parked on the other side of the street.

She quickened her pace, well aware of the unmistakable smell of drizzle in the air. Black thick clouds had been lowering over the city all afternoon, indicating that it was just a matter of time before hell would break loose. The dampness in the air was already making her clothes cling to her body in a most annoying way and her legs kept getting tangled in her long skirt, slowing her down considerably.

A quick glance at her watch confirmed what she already suspected. She was going to be late for her dinner date with her sister and her friends. Not that running late bothered he much though... her sister could wait...

No, it wasn't her dinner plans that made her hurry her steps, it was the drastic change in the weather. She was in no mood to get drenched this evening... Not when she had just had her hair done...

Marian's shoes were making quite a clatter on the asphalt as she crossed the street in five quick steps. If she hadn't been in such a hurry to escape the rain she probably would have seen the black Volvo coming at her at full speed, but she wasn't paying much attention to the traffic and didn't notice the car until she heard the unmistakable sound of squeaking brakes...

Reacting out of shear instinct, she threw herself to the side and narrowly escaped being run over. In reality the whole incident was over in less then ten seconds, but for Marian it felt like she sailed through the air for minutes, hours even, before she landed in a heap on the ground and crashed the kite with a less then graceful thud.

The impact was enough to drive most of the air from her lungs and she came very close to blacking out. She had never fainted before in her life but this time she sure felt as if she was about to - a prospect that frightened her. She didn't particularly like the feeling of losing control. But what frightened her even more was the fact that the speeding driver kept going without as much as a glance in the rear-view mirror!

"It's a scary world we live in," Marian thought to herself as she crawled on all fours towards the safety of the sidewalk. Her body ached from numerous bruises but apart from a few scrapes on her hands and knees, she appeared to have suffered no serious injury from her fall.

"Damn girl, that was close! Are you okay?!," a strong male voice suddenly boomed from out of nowhere.

Marian jumped at the unexpected sound and looked up only to find a tall, sharply dressed, dark blond , blue-eyed Adonis leaning over her.

Okay, comparing him with a God might have been a slight exaggeration but this man looked mighty fine and if THIS was a hallucination (due to her fall) then it sure was a pleasant one.


	3. Like an angel when I hit the ground

**AN: knocks on screen Is anyone out there reading this? I love to write, but comments rock!**

**With that being said this update is for Burnsier. Thanx!**

* * *

**Like an angel when I hit the ground**

_Lifting me up like an angel when I hit the ground  
Feel your arms all around me when Im feeling down_

* * *

"Oh, hi there…" Marian greeted the stranger with a self-conscious grimace. "I'm alright...Uhm, I think...A bit dizzy but nothing too bad... it will pass... " she added shyly and caught herself glancing up at him through her eyelashes in an almost flirty manner.

Sighing inwardly she forced herself to look away. He was so far out of her they weren't even in the same ballpark, and possibly not even playing the same sport... The way he looked at her, with pity and concern, made her feel every bit as gracious as a whale stranded on a sandy beach. Embarrassingly aware of how ridiculous she must look, she tried to get up, but instantly regretted the move as it made her see stars and hear birds tweet all over again. Fortunately though the young man caught on quickly and immediately came to her rescue. Wrapping two strong arms around her he practically lifted her to her feet.

"Better watch where you're going next time!" he scolded as he steadied her and began brushing the dust off her clothes.

It seemed like a perfectly innocent gesture, but something inside Marian tingled in response to his closeness.

"Hey, enough of that!" she protested and slapped his hands away. "You can stop feeling me up now! No bones are broken, I promise."

Robin's head snapped up in surprise at the unmistakable sound of sharpness in her voice. "Oookay, I was only trying to help but I'll leave you alone if that's what you want."

Taking two steps backwards he looked her over with renewed interest. Her clothes were rumpled, the heel of her right shoe was broken and she had a smudge on her chin that could very well be a bruise. She was a mess but strangely, there was something about her whole appearance that intrigued him…. The girl had spunk, he had to give her that. She was no beauty but like most plus sized women she had some serious curves working for her…She was big, but not TOO big.

Marian looked at the ground under the force of his silent stare. "Uhm, look…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful or anything. I appreciate your help… Really I do… It's just that I have had a really bad day at work today…"

"That's okay, I can relate to that," he assured her quickly, his own thoughts immediately wandering back to the not so pleasant meeting he had just been forced to sit through. It had been a nightmare to say the least… He had left the office building by foot about twenty minutes ago, hoping a long nice walk would clear him mind… But even now, three blocks and two sore feet later, he was still fuming…

What got to him the most was the fact that he didn't have much of a choice. His grandfather would cut of his trust fund if he didn't comply. No trust fund meant no safety net and no chance of ever finishing the novel that he had been working on for almost a year. He loved his chosen profession, what it stood for and meant to him. It didn't pay much but it meant the world to him. With that in mind, he resigned to his fate and switched into flirt mode, smiling brightly at the woman in front of him.

"So tell me, I'm curious, what does the K in your name stand for?," he asked seemingly out of the blue, confusing the hell out of the poor girl.

"Huh?," her clear blue eyes stared at him in surprise.

"On your nametag, sweetheart. It says Marian K Fitzwalter and I was just wondering what it meant," he explained with a grin, letting his eyes roam over her, making sure she knew he was checking her out.

Marian blushed and looked down at plastic card pinned to her blouse, mentally slapping herself for not remembering to remove it as she left her workplace. "Uhm… Kate…my middle name is Kate"

"Ah a pretty name for a pretty girl!," he winked at her and extended his hand. "Marian Kate Fitzwalter, let me introduce myself, I'm Robin Locksley."

His sudden interest in her was flattering and all but Marian couldn't quite get rid of the feeling that he was only flirting with her to make her feel better. She offered a polite "Nice meeting you." and shook his hand awkwardly, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush she could feel spreading across her face.

"The pleasure is all mine," he replied sweetly, winking at her again. "Look, I need to get going now but I have a feeling we'll met again...Actually I know we will, you just wait and see."

"Yeah, right….I'm sure we will…" Marian muttered to herself, as she watched him take off and disappear down the street.


	4. Chemical reaction

An: CalonLan ( and Burnsier), thanx for the feedback. This is the first fic I've posted in years so I'm extra nervous about reviews_._

* * *

**Chemical reaction**

_Definitely I feel attraction_

_Chemical reaction_

_But how many times have I been fed this kind of lie_

* * *

Marian stepped out of her bedroom the following morning looking pale and gloomy. Pulling her hair back in to a sloppy ponytail she entered the kitchen and went straight for the coffeepot on the counter.

"Hello sleepyhead," Sarah, her older sister (and roommate), greeted her affectionately. "What's up with the dark circles under your eyes? Had a bad night, huh?"

"I couldn't sleep, had a lot on my mind, that's all …," Marian replied as she poured herself a cup of the steaming black fluid.

"So, what's wrong? Problem at work? Your boss still acting like a jerk? Want me to come with you and kick his ass?!"

"Uhm… no…. And what makes you think there is something wrong?," Marian asked, stirring her coffee. She always drank it heavy with sugar, and white with milk.

"Please girl, you weren't exactly 'all there' at our dinner last night," her sister replied, rolling her eyes. "And what was up with your clothes, by the way? Your were practically covered in mud. I didn't mention it last night because I didn't want to embarrass you in front of the others. But we are all alone now so come on spill it. What's going on, sis?"

"Nothing… Everything is fine. I tripped and fell when I crossed the street leaving work. My ankle is still throbbing a little, I probably sprained it or something… but other that that, everything is just dandy…. Or it will be when I get my daily dosage of caffeine," Marian sighed and blew the steam off the top of her cup, inhaling the aroma.

"Okay that explains the clothes, but it doesn't explain the far away look on your face… hmm…unless," Sarah trailed off, and Marian could see the cogs in her mind turning.

"Unless what?," she asked, almost afraid of what the answer would be.

"Unless it was a man you tripped over…."

"Don't be daft, you know as well as I do that my love life is about as dry as a desert craving for rain," Marian protested with an exaggerated a sigh.

"Oooh oh, I'm on to something aren't I?! Don't deny it! You're blushing like a schoolgirl."

"Okay, fine, now that you mention it, this random guy approached me outside the office yesterday… I think he might have been flirting with me… I didn't take him serious though. I mean, why on earth would anyone be interested in little ol' me?! That's just stupid," Marian said with a sigh.

"Why is that so stupid?," Sarah replied calmly. "Why do you think it is stupid for a guy to make a move on you?"

"Look at me." Marian said and gestured at herself with disgust. " I'm not exactly the kind of girl that guys fall head over heels for. I'm a big girl and that seems to turns most of them off."

Feeling bad for her sister Sarah leaned over the kitchen table and gave her a quick hug. "You may not be skinniest person I know, but that doesn't mean you're not beautiful. Because you are, inside and out! Don't you ever forget that!"

"Aww, thanks. Your pep talks always does wonders for my self-esteem!," Marian smiled weakly.

"You're welcome. That's what big sisters are for… Now come on tell me more about this guy. What did he look like? Was he cute? Did you talk to him? Are you seeing him again?"

"Well, his name is Robin. He seemed nice, but what do I know?! I only spent a couple minutes talking to him... Bright blue eyes, unruly hair, boyish charm...Oh and a NICE body. You could almost see his pecs through his t-shirt!"

"Whoa, so he is hot… I get the picture…;" Sarah laughed and fanned herself. "You ARE seeing him again, aren't you?"

"Uhm…I don't know. I mean, he didn't ask for my number or anything…so probably not… But he did say he wanted to see me again… or sort of anyway...so you never know…," she sighed with a distant dreamy look on her face.

"There she goes again...," Sarah chuckled to herself. "I hate to interrupt your steamy fantasies, sister dearest, but aren't you suppose to be at work in less than ten minutes."

"Shit!" Marian groaned and shot up from her chair. A quick glance at the clock on the wall by the refrigerator confirmed that she was indeed going to be late for work… again… for the second time that week.

"Ugh, my boss is so gonna kill me for this," she shouted over her shoulder as she grabbed the car keys and rushed for the door.


	5. Confidence is king

* * *

**AN: This is a short one since I'm sick and doped up on painkillers (**

**Basically it's just some Robin/Marian interaction. There will be more of big sis Sarah in later chapters. **

* * *

**Confidence is king**

_Outside confidence is king  
I am all that you're projecting  
Inside feel the rising tide  
And the revolutions deafening_

* * *

Robin walked through the lobby of O.M.W. (Ogden Murphy Wallace), one of the biggest law firms in town, with great confidence in his steps. But on the inside he felt everything but calm. The magnitude—or stupidity—of what he was about to dowas beginning to sink in. It shamed him yet excited him at the same time. Ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach he headed straight for the receptionist's desk.

"Hi, I'm looking for a Marian Fitzwalter, is she by any chance working today?" he said and smiled sweetly to the petite blond woman behind the counter.

"Yes, I believe Ms Fitzwalter is here, I spoke to her personally just a few minutes ago. Normally you would find her in her office on the second floor but I doubt she is there right now," the receptionist told him and lowered her voice in conspiracy," She came in late this morning and apparently her boss was not too pleased, so he sent her down to sort through the archives in the basement."

She paused and motioned towards the waiting area. "Please, have a seat and I will try to get a hold of her and let her know that you are here. I'm sure she won't mind the interruption."

Robin did as he was told and was in the middle of flipping through the classified section of the Press Gazette when Marian, a few minutes later, stepped into the lobby.

Robin couldn't help but notice the way her breasts bounced and her hips swayed as she came sauntering towards the reception desk.

"Hi! Over here!," he called out to her as she passed by him without as much as a glance in his direction. Not sure she could hear him he started waving at her to attract her attention.

When Marian finally noticed his jerking arms she hesitantly swirled around and waved back, giving him a confused, I-see-you-but-am-not-sure-why-you're-here kind of look.

Smiling somewhat nervously, Robin motioned for her to come over. "Why so surprised? Told ya we'd meet again didn't I?!" he greeted her.

"How on earth did you find me? Marian asked in astonishment, trying her best to look serious, but the corners of her mouth was twitching as she fought back a smile.

"Uhm…I'm not sure I should tell you. ..I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. I'm not a stalker I swear.".

"Okay, fine, you don't have to tell me. I think I have a pretty good idea. You recognized the logo on my nametag didn't you?"

"Sort of…I looked it up in the phone book," he admitted with a grin. "Your phone number wasn't listed so I thought I'd give this place a shot…."

"So, are you going to tell me the reason you're here?"

"Sorry! Uhm.. I came by because I was hoping maybe you would like to have lunch with me. If you haven't taken your break already that is...You interested?," he asked with what he hoped was a convincing smile.

"No..."

"No?"

"No, I haven't eaten yet and yes, I would love to join you for lunch," Marian grinned, secretly enjoying the sound of confusion in his voice. "I just need to clear it with my boss first. "

"No you don't! Leave that to me!," the blond receptionist suddenly chimed in. She had obviously been following their conversation with great interest from her position behind her desk and didn't hesitate to offer her help.

"Go, have fun!! I'll let the slave driver know where you are. Just get out of here before that hunk of a man you got over there changes his mind and leaves without you," she winked at her younger colleague and smiled brightly at the Robin.

"You heard her, let's get out of here, shall we?!" Robin suggested with a chuckle as he hooked his arm in hers and began steering an astonished Marian towards the big glass door.


	6. The One

AN: The plot thickens! Or more correctly, some semblance of a plot is underway!

First date basically, I did some re-writes on this one. Feedback rocks, and is very much appreciated. Enjoy!

* * *

**The One**

_I've seen so many faces  
These hands have lied before  
I've kissed so many lips it's blocked my mind  
I've whispered bullshit, nothings  
I've cried alone in night  
I thought I'd found the one a million times_

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Marian found herself munching on a delicious turkey sandwich at some deli/café-type thing downtown.

"So… I heard you overslept this morning. I take it your boss wasn't too trilled, huh?!" Robin asked in between large bites of his half eaten lunch.

"No, he wasn't. To tell you the truth I'm surprised he hasn't fired me yet. I'm constantly late for just about everything, I can't spell to save my life and my desk is always a total mess. I'm not exactly secretary material," she sighed and took a sip of her Diet Coke.

"Aww…I bet you have tons of other talents to make up for it," he said and gave her what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

"Sure, I'm great tap-dancer, I can make a killer lasagna and I speak Danish fluently… All very valuable skills but you can't exactly make a career out of any of them...not without some sort of degree anyway… Ugh… Going back to school is not high on my list. I don't even want to think about that right now... Do you mind if we change the subject?," she asked with a frown.

"Not at all, what do you want to talk about?"

"YOU…. I mean come on, we have been sitting here for quit some time now and all I know about you so far is your name."

"Fair enough. So what do you want to know?," he asked.

"I don't know specifically. I just want to know things like your age, what you do for a living, what you do for kicks, things like that. You know, general stuff."

Marian could have sworn she saw a blush creep on his cheeks as he shifted nervously in his chair. He didn't like to talk about himself that much was clear.

"Well, I'm 23, I was born and raised here in Nottingham. I tried living in London for a couple of years but that did not suit me so now I'm back. I have a degree in journalism and have been doing some freelance stuff lately."

"Freelance stuff? What does that mean? No, wait, don't tell me… Let me guess, I wouldn't peg you as the poet type, so I'd say you're either writing sport articles or current events. And I bet you've got a half written screen play tucked away in a drawer somewhere…"

"Close but no cigar… It's a crime novel not a screen play and right now I'm covering the election for the Nottingham Evening Post."

"Do you have one of those flashy photo bylines? What's your penname?"

"Actually, let me tell you a secret… Robin Locksley IS my penname. My real name is Robert Huntingdon III," he admitted with a grimace.

That information was not something he usually shared. It was in fact something he kept close to his chest for a reason; but then again he was fairly sure the best way to gain trust was to give trust.

"Ever heard of the Huntingdon corporation?," he asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant.

"The real estate group?!," Marian nodded and then it hit her. "Oh, my! You are one of THOSE Huntingdon's, aren't you?!," she stared at him in disbelief.

"Uhm, yeah. You make it sound like there is a whole hoard of us, but it's actually just me and my grandfather." This time there was no question, Robin was blushing furiously.

"I know, I've read about you guys. Your name has been all over the newspapers lately. You seem to live a fascinating life…," Marian trailed off and looked down at her lap then back up at him again.

"Robin why did you bring me here? I mean, with a lifestyle like yours, I'm sure you have tons of women chasing after you. Why waste your time on someone like me?!," she paused and looked away again. "Don't get me wrong, this "lunch date" is nice and all but what's the real deal? Is it a bet? A dare? or a pity thing? … Do I have 'EASY' stamped on my forehead, or something? You can tell me, I wont get upset. It's not like it hasn't happened before."

Robin's eyes widened and he quickly blinked searching for an appropriate response. "Well…uhm to be honest, it's more like a rebound thing, I think, " He made the mistake of glancing up at her and nearly cringed at the look of defeat on her face.

"You are everything my ex wasn't… The two of you are as different as two people can be… Looks, appearance and attitude."

At least that much was true…

"But that doesn't mean I'm not genuinely interested. You are a fresh and welcomed change in my life and I would love to get to know you better. What do you say? Can I get a second date?," he asked as he reached out and placed his hands over hers.

She frowned. "Second date?"

"Geez, is the idea that compelling?"

She shrugged. "No, I just didn't think . . ." she shrugged again. "Okay fine, I'll go out with you… again"

"Great, you wont regret it, I promise. I'll treat you like a queen… Flowers, dinner for two, and then maybe a movie…."

"…and a good night kiss at the door," she smirked. "…cuz that's about as far as I'll go on a. second date."

"Alright…If you want one of those, then sure…"

Boy, did she ever... Just looking at his lips, made her palms turn sweaty and her mouth go dry.

Robin wasn't oblivious to her longing stare. This girl was a wonder, one minute she was cocky and the next minute she was shy like a school girl. She had an innocence about her that absolutely could not be faked, and it drew him to her like a fly to a picnic table.

Carefully, as if testing the water, he tiled his head downwards towards Marian's and ran his index finger lightly over her cheek. "You know what they say, practice makes perfect…Wanna give it a try?"

Marian made what she hoped was an affirmative noise. "Mum-mummph"

Her eyes fluttered shut as his warm breath brushed her cheek…. and then his lips claimed hers in a rushed but very gentle first kiss.


	7. Good enough

AN: Chapter seven for your reading enjoyment. Enjoy!

* * *

**Good enough**

_I need to know that I could be good enough_

_Because everybody wants to feel good enough_

_Show me baby_

Tell me

_Come on a prove it baby_

_Give it to me_

* * *

"Finally!!" Marian's voice filled the air as she pushed the screen door open and stepped out on the porch. "What took you so long!," she demanded as she approached her sister who was in the middle of lifting out grocery bags from the trunk of the car.

"Sorry. I know I'm late but if a certain someone hadn't forgotten to stock up the refrigerator yesterday I would have been home a lot sooner. So… what's the emergency? That voice mail you left me was pretty vague."

"It's nothing major. I need your advice on what outfit to wear for tonight. I can't make up my mind and you have always had much better fashion sense than me," Marian explained as she stepped aside and held the door open for her sister.

"Oooh, sounds like someone has a hot date. What is this… your second… no third… in less than a week. Don't you worry I bet he is used to your lack of taste in clothes by now," Sarah teased and followed her sister into the kitchen.

"You are just jealous because I have a man and you don't... Now, shut up and hear me out will ya! Robin is taking me to some fancy jazz club and I want to look sophisticated. I thought I'd go for something black because it makes me look slimmer but I'm not sure... How do I look?" Marian asked, executing a pirouette from her childhood ballet lessons.

"Like an undertaker searching for a corpse to box up and hurl into the back seat of our car. You can't wear black from top to toe it makes you look gloomy," Sarah said with a slight cringe.

"Really, is it that bad?"

"Yes, but you know what, I think I have something purple that would go great with that skirt. Help me put the food away and I'll go get it for you," she suggested and quickly disappeared out of the kitchen.

When she returned a few minutes later, she was greeted with a disappointed frown on her sisters face.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it?" she asked and looked down at the tube top she was holding in her hand.

"No, it's not that. I love it, it's cute and all, but I doubt it will fit," Marian explained with a sigh.

"Well, there is only one way to find out… Try it on!" Sarah coaxed as she pulled the stretchy top down over her sisters head and helped her wriggle into it.

"I can't wear stuff like this! Look, it clings to every single curve on my body. It makes me look fat," Marian whined and grabbed a pot lid to check her reflection.

"Are you kidding?! You look great! Come on, let's regroup to the bathroom and see what we can do from there… I'll even help you with your make-up, if you want me to," Sarah offered and tugged at Marian's hand.

"Okay, fine, but we have to hurry, it's getting late. And just so you know I'm still not sure about this outfit."

"What time is he picking you up?" Sarah asked as she motioned for her sister to take a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

"He isn't. I'm suppose to meet up with him outside the club in about half an hour."

"Really?! That's too bad… for me I mean. I was looking forward to finally meeting him in person... You know what, why don't you give him a call and ask if he can swing by and pick you up here instead… That will probably save you some time," she suggested and began brushing Marian's chocolate brown, shoulder length hair with long quick strokes.

"No…" Marian protested loudly and felt her face heat up. "Uhm…I mean, I don't want that…. It's better this way."

"It is?! What's wrong? What'd I say?" Sarah asked, sensing that her sister was nervous about something.

Marian shook her head. "Nothing, I'm being silly... You are my sister, I can trust you, right?! You would never…-"

"Never what?" Sarah paused and her eyes got wide. "Ohhh, you think that if we met I'd..."

"...make a move on him…Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't… he is gorgeous…But so are you and I'm afraid that if you as much as bat an eyelash at him he'd ditch me faster than the speed of light… It's not like it hasn't happened before, you know… " Marian laughed sadly.

"Yeah, I remember.. that Gisbourne character was a dick. He should have known I wouldn't do something like that to my own sister. I'm sorry he hurt you but I thought you'd be over that by now."

"I know…I'm trying, really I am… Find me a phone and I'll prove it to you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Robin isn't like that, YOU aren't like that…. Let's get this over and done with," Marian suggested, pulling out her cellphone and flipping it open with a determined look on her face.

The door bell rang precisely 40 minutes later and Marian reluctantly agreed to stay in her room while her sister went downstairs to welcome their guest. It wasn't the arrangement Marian would have preferred but she really didn't have much of a choice... She was still not quite sure on what top to wear and greeting Robin in her underwear somehow didn't seem like a good idea….

Marion sighed, examining her form thoughtfully in the mirror. The purple top her sister so kindly had offered her was probably more 'fitted' than most people would find appropriate for someone her size. It would look much better on someone with a smaller frame… someone with slender waist and proportional hips and bust… someone like Sarah…

She wanted to trust her sister, really she did, but Sarah was a notorious flirt and Robin… Robin was so handsome and so sure of himself; a combination that didn't bode well.

While Marion busied herself upstairs getting dressed, Sarah went to open the front door..

"Why hello there, you must be Robin," she exclaimed stretching out her hand to greet the tall, handsome guy standing on her front porch. "I have to say, you look nothing like I pictured you," she added as she let him inside.

"Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?" Robin replied with a grin.

"Definitely a compliment." Sarah tilted her head and contemplated him through long eyelashes. "Marian has been talking about you, and for once she wasn't exaggerating," she trailed off, shaking her head and grinning. "Uhm.. so… anyway, Marian is upstairs. She should be down in a second. Why don't you have a seat," she offered with a gesture towards the living room.

Well damn, Marion's sister was a hottie. "So you're Sarah, right?!" Robin asked, in lack of anything better to say.

"The one and only, " she replied with a smirk.

"Pleasure meeting you!" his eyes lingering on her bare belly and the lurid, red thong poking out of the top of her baggy, tracksuit bottoms..

She caught him looking but she didn't seem to take offence. In fact, if he didn't know better he would say wanted him to look. But that couldn't be true, now could it?!

Before he had a chance to find out for sure he heard someone clear the throat at the door.

Marian could tell the exact moment Robin became aware of her presence, because that was the moment his grin slid right off his face and shattered against the floor.

"Wow, look at you…," he trailed off for a moment, as an odd mix of surprise, guilt and bewilderment played across his face. "You look…. nice."

"Thank you! So do you. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting...," she said in a strained voice and shot her sister an angry glare behind Robin's back.

"It's okay, it was worth the wait. Besides, your sister took good care of me."

"Oh, I bet she did." Marian replied dryly, wrapping her arm possessively around his waist. "Let me get my keys and purse and we'll be on our way," she said and dragged him out of the room without as much as a "goodbye" to her sister.

Jealousy can be a difficult monster to tame… especially when it comes between sisters…


	8. Body language

**AN: Ok, this is where you'll start seeing a different side to Robins personality…more manipulative and cruel. Don't worry he'll learn his lesson eventually. **

**Oh, and Allan makes an appearance )**

* * *

**Body language**

_Reciprocating feelings that aren't there_

_Sometimes I think you're aware_

_Your body language it gives you away_

Maybe I should run

_Turn my back_

_Head for the sun_

* * *

His eyes sought her out in the crowd almost involtarely. He found her by the south side of the back porch, leaning against the railing with some blueish-purple drink in her hand, looking out of place, troubled and wonderful. Ruby red lips and, flowing dark hair and a smile that could make your knees go week. Tonight though her eyes didn't mach that smile. She seemed nervous but he didn't blame her. Not only was this her first visit to his home but it was also her first time meeting his friends. Everything else, though, was going exactly according to plans, at least as far Robin could tell from his position on the balcony overlooking the backyard. The soft glow from the low-hanging sun and the growing dark shadows made the scenery below him look inviting and eerie at the same time.

This last-minute improvised barbecue dinner party of his had turned out to be a success. The lawn shaded by two giant oaks was crowded with friends, co-workers and business associates. The food had been delicious…(well eatable anyway), the drinks flowed freely and his guests were all in a happy mood.

Everyone except Marian that is… Which was kind of ironic considering that the whole event had been carefully planned entirely for her benefit. The purpose of the evening was to gradually introduce her to the hectic frenzy that was his every day life. But it wasn't going as smooth as he had hoped it would.

Inviting her sister to tag along had obviously been a big mistake. The tension between the two sisters was so thick you could slice it with a knife and serve it with gravy to the other guests. Robin had a nagging feeling that it was more than likely his fault.

In retrospect, he probably should have told Sarah off from the beginning. But he hadn't…instead he had encouraged her with heated glances and subtle hints. And now her flirtatious behaviour around him had gotten them both into some serious trouble. Marian was not stupid, she was on to them… The damage was already done….

He could see the suspicions and unspoken questions in Marian's eyes….Hell in everyone's eyes. They were all wondering the same thing. What was he doing with chubby sullen one when the other sister was so… so obviously into him …and so obviously more his "type"?

He didn't have an answer, not an acceptable one anyway and that's why he had been hiding on the damn balcony for over 10 minutes now.

He couldn't stay there forever though…Neglecting his duties as host would only get him into more trouble. It was time to return and he knew where he needed to be…where he wanted to be… standing proud by the side of his girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND. Funny how that word takes on a whole new meaning once it's said out loud he thought.

--

"Hey Robin, where did you disappear to? I have been looking all over the place for you!!"

Robin winced and paused midstep on his way down the stairs. Standing before was Allan , his long-time friend and stock broker.. . Uh uhh, so much for trying to sneak back down without being noticed….

"Uhm… well… eh… I had to check up on Nemo…"Robin said, gesturing vaguely behind him and took the remaining steps two at a time. "He doesn't like guests in the house... especially not female guests. He gets all jealous and competitive when he doesn't have my full attention."

"Gee, I wonder why?! That dog of yours is spoiled rotten, you know that right?!.. .Anyway, speaking of female guests, the girls have been asking for you."

"Who, Marian?" Robin asked quickly and pulled his friend with him into the kitchen with a nervous look over his shoulder.

"Yeah and the evil step sister. What's the deal there, mate? One sister isn't enough for you?".

"Don't ask, it's a looong story." Robin sighed as he went straight for the refrigerator and took out two beers.

"Okay fine, but I already know about the meeting." Allan admitted as he hopped up on the counter and helped himself to some snacks.

"What meeting?" Robin replied in a poor attempt at acting all clueless.

"With that image consult… Much told me all about it. I never thought you'd go through with it though...I mean, the girl has feelings."

Robin looked away and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know. I feel complete fucking creep for doing this."

"So it's all true then?" Allan asked curiously.

"Yes...but please shhh...don't say anything to anyone." Lowering his voice to barely a whisper he added, "She's been hurt pretty badly before. Guys using her, asking out as bets and dares and stuff… She may not be the girl of my dreams but she doesn't deserve that sort of treatment. I don't want her to ever find about this, okay?! "

"Just be careful, man. Im not being funny but these things have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass." Allan stated knowingly.

--

Two beers and a bag of peanuts later, Robin left Allan and the kitchen behind him and ventured out on the back porch. He approached Marian slowly not wanting to piss her off more than he was sure he already had.

Their eyes met for a second before Marian averted her face and looked back down at her feet. Her long straight hair fell forward, hiding not only her eyes but also her true feelings. But he could tell by just looking at her posture that she was upset with him. Scratching his head, he tried to decide on how he could phrase what he wanted to say to her…but she beat him to it.

"I'm leaving!" she shouted to him loud enough to be heard over the music blaring out of the sound system.

"What? Why?" Robin felt obliged to ask even though he already knew.

"Isn't that obvious?! Your wandering eyes have been everywhere but on me this evening. I may be a pathetic fool but I'm not blind, Robin. I can tell that you're not as interested in me as I thought you were... Enough is enough… I don't need any further embarrassment. I just want to go home and pretend I never met you."

Robin couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was a major setback. He hadn't expected her to be quite that quick to dump his sorry ass. "I am NOT letting you break up with me… " he protested and slid his arms around her waist. She stiffened as she always did at his touch but he ignored it and pulled her tight against him. "You're the only woman here tonight that I feel any kind of attraction for. It's true, I swear… I'll show it to you, baby."

He gave her no time to respond as he pressed his lips forcefully against hers, his tongue making it's way in her mouth. Marian grabbed his shoulder and tried to shove him away from her, but she wasn't strong enough. Splaying his hands on her lower back and buttocks he pressed her even closer to him, making sure she was fully aware of the effect she had on his body…. Let's just say his one-track minded crotch monster didn't need much encouragement to come alive. Almost two weeks of celibacy can do that to a man.

Marian seemed impressed by his wordless display of emotions or at least she stopped fighting him and relaxed in his arms. By the time Robin finally broke the kiss she was panting hard and clinging to him like she would be utterly lost without him.

Robin had to admit he wasn't as unaffected as he liked to appear. His head was spinning and his stomach kept doing somersaults - partly from excitement but mostly from the overwhelming feeling of guilt that was taking over his body..

"Marian...look at me." He said, lifting her chin with his finger. "You're the only one I want…. " he whispered, thankful that his acting skills were good, because the words coming out of his mouth wasn't exactly 100 true . "I love spending time with you. Can't we just put all of this behind us and dance the night away together, please!" he pleaded and gently kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry..," she laughed softly, sniffling a little, but not willing herself to cry. "It's just hard for me to believe that a guy like you would want anything to do with someone like me."

"Dance with me." he repeated and pulled her back into his arms.

"I can't stay Robin. I mean I want to but I really can't. I have to be up early tomorrow. I promised my aunt I would baby-sit for -…"

"Just one dance," he pleaded almost sounding a tad bit desperate.

Marian looked into his blue eyes and she was lost, "Okay...fine...we'll stay with you for a while..."

He closed his eyes, relief flooding his body. Thank you.


	9. Jekyll and Hyde

**Jekyll and Hyde**

_I was trying to hide my opposing side _

_Trying to reconcile _

_my Jekyll and Hyde_

* * *

The following morning Robin jolted awake at 10,15 by the wonderful sound of a phone ringing and ringing, and ringing, and ringing...

Fucking annoying when you're hungover and sleep deprived. He half opened one eye and was rewarded with pain. Scrambling for the receiver he picked it up and answered with a groggily, "Hello?" He repeated it three times before he realised he had been mistaken. The noise didn't come from the phone. It came from the doorbell... And whoever it was at his door wasn't going away...

He sat up abruptly, causing black spots to dance across his vision. Once he regained focus he noticed two things. 1) There was a skinny redhead in his bed, blissfully asleep and butt naked. And 2) There was a car parked on his drive way. It was a red Opel, he could see it clearly through his bedroom window. Not just any Opel though, it looked suspiciously like the one Marian drove.

Sudden comprehension dawned on him and he shot up from the bed like a scalded cat. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was in deep shit this time. Note to self: Don't mess around when your girlfriend is close by... Ugh, don't mess around PERIOD!!

Grabbing a robe, he hurried downstairs. He knew what he was about to do was risky but he didn't have much of a choice. Not answering the door would only stir up unnecessary clouds of suspicion. His own car was visible in the carport and his dog was barking in the kitchen. To pretend he wasn't home would only be foolish.

"I woke you up, didn't I?!" was the first thing Marian said when he opened the door and let her in.

"Uh...yeah, but it's cool." he replied, voice raspy like he hadn't spoken in days.

"Aww, baby I'm sorry," she said, but she didn't sound sorry at all. In fact she had a huge smile on her face. And why wouldn't she be smiling?! As far as she knew everything between them was fine. Better than fine, if the way she had danced with him under the moonlight the night before was any indication.

It wasn't until midnight, when she decided to go "Cinderella" on him and take a cab home, that things started to go downhill for him... He had been left solo on the dance floor, feeling, horny, drunk and alone...Never a good combination... That was no excuse though. He should have known better...

Suddenly driven by an urgent need to make up for his weakness he threw his arms around her he hugged her tightly.

"You're shaking. Are you alright, baby? " she asked gently combing her finger through his hair. He nodded and pulled back a little, not meeting her gaze.

"I'm okay. I'm still a little disoriented from just waking up, that's all... So uhm... what are you doing here this early? Weren't you suppose to baby-sit or something?," he asked carefully, feeling beads of sweat trickling down his forehead.

"Chris, my 6 year old cousin, got sick so my aunt canceled her trip. Look, I only came by in case you needed some help cleaning up after the party. But if you want me to leave," she trailed off hesitantly.

"Uhm... would you mind? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you... But I feel kind of funky. I need to take a shower and get dressed. "

"Oookay," her tone was light but Robin could see disappointment in her face. It couldn't be helped. He needed her out of the house, and that quick...

"I have and idea! Why don't you take Nemo out on a nice LONG walk for me while I get ready. We could meet up here again in let's say 30 minutes and have breakfast together," he suggested and gently shoved her towards the door. She stumbled, but caught herself on the doorframe.

"That sounds like a plan but uhm... Robin, wont I need a dog for that?!"

"Eh... yeah... Silly me, I forgot! Wait outside and I'll bring him out through the backdoor, okay?!" he said quickly and closed the door on her before she could say another word.

"So far so good!" he thought, letting out a shaky breath, but his conscience did not entirely agree with him...

* * *

The shower didn't feel nearly as refreshing as he had hoped it would. He stood under the hot water until his skin turned lobster red. But no matter how hard he scrubbed himself, he still felt dirty. And he couldn't stop his mind from replaying the last 24 hours over and over again...

After waving Marian and Nemo off, he had returned to his bedroom to confront his "partner in crime". To his surprise he had found the girl up and awake. Still naked of course, but at least she was hurrying about the room collecting her things. His first reaction as he saw her was one of disgust. Funny how things tend to look completely different in broad daylight...

The conversation that followed had been short but to the point...

"Get your clothes on. We don't have much time."

"Gee, good morning to you too. Someone's in a bad mood. Let me guess, you didn't like that wakeup call --much, huh? So tell me, who was at the door?"

"Bible salesman!"

"You're lying!"

"Does it matter?!"

"It was that pathetic girlfriend of yours, wasn't it?"

"Whatever... Look Clarissa, you and I are through. I know I have said it before but this time I really mean it. Don't call, don't come to my house, and don't try to seek me out. I don't wanna see you ever again. Have I made myself clear?!"

"Very, but remember you're the one making booty calls, not me, honey.. Keep lying to yourself that if it makes you feel better. But you and I both know who you will be running to the next time you're going through a dry spell."

"I think you should leave. You were never invited in the first place so get lost!"

After showing a very hostile Clarissa to the door, Robin quickly took care of all incriminating evidences in the bedroom and then headed for the bathroom to make himself presentable.

Once he got out of the shower, he went dripping across the bathroom floor in search of a clean towel. He finally resorted to using his bathrobe and made a mental note to visit a Laundromat in the near future.

Sighing, he reached for his toothbrush. Bringing it up to his mouth, he stopped, looking at his face in the mirror.. "Dirty and mean-spirited, that's what you are." he told his reflection and quickly finished his morning routine.

Running a comb through his hair he padded out of the steaming bathroom to grab some clothes. He slipped into a pair of khaki cargo shorts and pulled a black wife-beater over his head. He looked for and found his favorite baseball cap and pulled that on as well, finishing with a pair of flip-flops. By the time he was through dressing, he could hear the unmistakable sound of Nemo barking outside and knew Marian was back.

"Time to face the music..."


	10. Strange relationship

* * *

AN:

Magpie287: Ah, a new reader! Thanx for the reviews!

Robin-Marian-Fan: Yes, in this fic she's a tad bit on the heavy side. The concept of this story is portray them in a different light. Robin is not quite the hero everyone thinks him to be and Marian is an insecure and awkward ugly duckling.

CalonLan: I've really been enjoying writing it. There is a confrontation coming up... will he get away with it, that's the question…

* * *

**Strange relationship**

_Do you love me?_

_Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?_

_You push and pull me_

_and I'm about to loose my mind_

_Is this just a waste of time_

* * *

Breakfast went without a glitch save for the plate of waffles that accidentally ended up on the floor. But Robin wasn't one to cry over spilled milk… and neither was Nemo… With a wiggling tail the dog smelled his way to the food and a few minutes later the kitchen floor was spotless again… Well waffle free anyway, which was probably for the best since the mere thought of eating made Robin feel queasy. Aspirin had done wonders for his headache, but his stomach was still threatening to revolt. He didn't have the heart to tell Marian about this though. She seemed very enthusiastic about the prospect of the two of them sharing a romantic breakfast together. So, instead he put on a cheerful face and played the rôle of the perfect boyfriend.

By the time breakfast was over and done with Robin was totally and utterly exhausted. Marian on the other hand swept around the house collecting bottles and beer cans like a whirlwind of efficiency.

Robin had been planing on joining her in her cleaning spree. Honestly he had, but somewhere along the line he ended up falling asleep on the coach in the living room. He only intended to lie down for a second or two while he was waiting for his stomach to settle. But seconds turned into minutes and minutes to hours…

While Robin was napping Marian kept herself busy restoring the house to its pre-party state. She didn't mind, really. It gave her a perfect excuse to snoop around a little. Nothing tells you as much about a person as the contents of the bathroom cabinet… Marian found more than she bargained for, that's for sure. What surprised her most was the discovery she made in his bedroom. Let's just say there was a thing or two that she was going to have to confront him about later...

--

This time it was the sound of the vacuum cleaner that finally brought Robin back from la-la land. He jolted awake with such force that he involuntarily fell off the coach and landed on the floor with a heavy thud. Marian, who was standing only a few feet away, couldn't help but smile at the whole thing. The surprised look on his face was priceless.

"Ouch!," he yelped and rubbed his knee. "Hey, don't laugh at me, I'm in pain here."

"Ha, serves you right for trying to dodge your cleaning duties."

"Aww, why didn't you wake me?" he asked and scrambled to a sitting position.

"Believe me I tried but you were zonked."

"What can I say, I'm sleep deprived and hungover," he shrugged and resumed his position on the couch, motioning for Marian to join him.

Avoiding his outstretched hand she took a seat as far away from him as she could. "Uhm, speaking of your hangover Robin. Did anything happen here last night that I should know about?"

"No, what makes you say that?"

"I had a very interesting phone conversation with my sister a few minutes ago and she told me you got really wasted and did some pretty stupid things after I left." Marian explained.

"Sarah?! How would she know? I thought she left with you…"

"No, she didn't. She was in the middle of a pool game with some of your friends so she decided to stay behind."

"Oh I see… But uhm…your sister isn't exactly the most reliable source, you know that right?!"

"So this thing about you taking you shirt off and allowing some woman to do body shots on your naked chest isn't true then?"

"Uhm…well something like that sort of did happen but it was totally innocent Marian, I swear…"

"Save your breath… I'll take your word for it this time…. I'm well aware of my sister's tendencies to exaggerate… But Robin, there is something else I need to ask you about..," she paused, not sure how to phrase the question. "Have you been with anyone…uhm…I mean sexually, since you and I started dating?"

Robin's eyes widened in surprise. "God, what exactly did that manipulative sister of yours say, Marian? You shouldn't let her wild imaginti- … "

"What she said is not important." Marian assured him and leaned back to pull something out of her pocket. "I just want to hear you explain this for me…," she added and opened her hand revealing a small square piece of foil.

"That thing isn't mine." Robin choked out after a few moments of stunned silence.

She cocked an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "It isn't?! Then I want to know what the hell it was doing in your bedroom, Robin!" she demanded calmly as she placed the empty condom wrapper on the table next to her.


	11. Strange relationship part II

**Strange relationship part II**

"Are you going to tell me about it or should I just assume the worst? I'm still waiting here, Robin…" Marian reminded him with a slight tremble in her voice.

Robin could not speak. Nothing seemed to feel right- no words were sufficient to express how sorry he was. In that She sounded so sad and hurt. Well, duh, what had he expected her to feel? Overwhelming joy?

"Where did you find it?" he asked quietly in lack of better things to say.

She let out a slight laugh. "Geez Robin, think back, where was the last place you had sex? That should pretty much answer your question," she shut her eyes and she sniffled a little.

"Sweetheart, I know how bad this must look but if someone had sex in my bed last nigh, it sure as hell wasn't me," he exclaimed with a voice full of emotion.

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly."

"Yes!" he answered and looked her straight in the eyes without blinking.

He had been lying to her about a lot of things but this part was actually true… well technically, anyway… Him and Clarissa had never made it as far as to the bed. Instead they had settled for mad drunken sex on the bedroom floor… It had been fast, messy and so not worth the ride.

There was a few seconds of silence and then Marian sighed. "I actually believe you, how retarded is that..," she sniffled again, her eyes watering. " I don't understand why things like this always happens to me. I mean, I know I'm not exactly a beauty queen, but am I really that repulsing?," she whispered and let out a heart-wrenching sob.

"Aww, sweetheeart, you are nothing but beautiful to me," he soothed with a hard knot in his own throat as he scooted closer to her on the couch.

"Marian, listen to me carefully… You haven't done anything wrong and there is nothing about you that could ever repulse me," he said softly and pulled her into his arms even though Marian was slightly reluctant.

"Liar, you hardly ever touch me and when you do it's just a hug or a kiss, never… you know," she trailed off and looked up at him.

"There have been several times where I wanted nothing more then to drag you to the nearest bed and make sweet passionate love to you, trust me, but I didn't want to scare you away or pressure you into anything."

"I would have come willingly."

"Yeah, well I didn't know that. We have never really talked about this and since you are a bit younger then me, I kind of figured…Uhm…I wasn't sure you were ready, that's all…"

"That's sweet but I'm old enough to make my own decisions… Look Robin, I don't want to have to go through anything like this ever again. I really like you and I'll give you a second chance, but if I ever catch you as much as eyeing another woman I'll dump you in a heartbeat. Is that understood?!"

"Eye, eye, captain," he said jokingly and saluted her. "I know I haven't been 100 committed to this relationship but from now on things will change," he promised with a reassuring smile and wasn't all to surprised when he realised that he actually meant it.

There was something about this girl. He wasn't sure what it was. But he genuinely liked her…


	12. My heart wants what it wants

* * *

AN: Hay guys, its been awhile for this story but here's chapter twelve. Enjoy!

* * *

**my heart wants what it wants**

Baby

Stay away

Do the right thing

I know I should run

But my heart wants what it wants

* * *

They spent the remaining of the day curled up together on the couch watching a sci-fi marathon of "Star Treak". Not quite Marians favorite TV show but she followed the first two episodes in relative earnest. Soon, however, the distraction provided by the warm masculine body snuggled up against her side, became too much for her to handle.

She was dying to touch him and be touched by him. Unable to resist the temptation, she slid a hand up his chest and let her fingers run along the outline of his pecs in a rather forward fashion.

The response was immediate, Robin's head shot up and a look of surprise and pure need crossed his features. Encouraged by the almost silly contented smile on his face, Marian rolled over and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Starving for love and affection she tangled her fingers in his hair and captured his lips in what she hoped was a hungry but chaste kiss. She didn't want to seem to needy or clingy or whatever… But the truth was she was about as horny as a healthy warm-blooded woman could get…

With her heart pounding out of her chest, she touched the warmth of his mouth again…. And again…. and again. Each time their lips met it lasted a little longer and went a little deeper. Within minutes Marian found herself engaged in a full-blown makeout session, complete with tongue action, groping and heavy breathing..

It wasn't until she felt Robin's hands slide underneath the back of her top that she fully realised what she had gotten herself into…. Old habits are hard to break and her first reaction was to tense and shy away. But his touch was soothing and reassuring and she couldn't help but relax against his body.

Eventually his fingers left the small of her back and began tracing the hem of her bra. His hands were still trapped underneath her top but that didn't stop him from slowly, tenderly, finding his way around to her stomach and the clasp hidden beneath the generous swell of her cleavage.

To say that Marian was in heaven as her heavy breasts were freed from their restraint was an understatement. She never suspected that she could enjoy a man's touch so thoroughly. But when Robin cupped her round globes and rubbed his thumbs over her nipples, heat flooded through her body in a way she had never experienced before.

With a soft moan she sank back against the couch cushions and pulled him down on top of her. They fit perfectly together and Marian had never felt so safe, so secure as she did right then and there… But she still wanted more… much more…

She heard him inhale sharply as their bodies came into full-length contact. Her hands instinctively snaked down to knead his buttocks through the thin fabric of his cargo shorts. She could feel his growing hardness pressing against the inside of her thigh and when he tried to adjust himself the rough texture of his pants rubbed against the most intimate area of her body. Needless to say she was turned on beyond words…

But to her disappointment Robin chose that exact moment to pull away and roll off her. " I know you want to take this one step further, baby girl, but we can't…," he said breathlessly.

Marians's eyes widened. "Why the hell not? We both want this, right?!."

"Protection…. Unless you're on the pill, we need some kind of protection."

"…and you don't have any? Is that it?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so," he replied reluctantly, because the only condoms he had were of the same brand as the wrapper she had found earlier that morning and he didn't want push his luck….

"But don't worry, baby. There is still a thing or two I could do for you…," he added sweetly and sent a hand wandering down between their bodies to untie the drawstring of her pants. "…If you'll let me, that is…" he trailed off and tugged the waistband down over her hips.

Marian's only reply was a pathetic attempt of a nod.

"Relax and I'll take care of you.," Robin whispered and that's exactly what happened next; he took care of her, real good care…

"Wow… just WOW." Marian panted a few minutes later, still shivering from the intense pleasure she had just experienced.

"T-t-t-hank you…."

"For what, sweetheart?" he asked absentmindedly, and entwined his fingers with hers.

"For making me feel things I have never felt before," she explained and cuddled up closer to him.

"Aww, you're welcome. I enjoyed every moment of it."

"Yeah, I can tell you did," she laughed and teasingly nodded towards the damp stain spreading across the crotch area of his pants.

"Heh… uhm… sorry about that. I don't think I have embarrassed myself like this since I was a sixteen," he said and blushed so hard Marian could actually feel the heat against her skin as he buried his face in her shoulder.

" I'll take that as a compliment."

"Please do," he chuckled and kissed the top of her forehead.


	13. The monster in you

AN: Sorry about the delay. I've been sick... again... Sigh

I realize you dont usually travel by plane between Nottingham and London... I'll blame it on my fever...

* * *

**The monster in you**

_It's hard to take control,  
when your enemy's old and afraid of you.  
You'll discover that the monster you were running from  
is the monster in you_

* * *

Robin stood at the window, watching the rain beat on the glass, thinking of Marian. Thinking about her face, the softness of her skin, the smell of her body…. Let's just say the steamy moment they had shared on the couch a few days ago was still fresh on his mind.

Had it really only been three-and-a-half week since he had first laid eyes on her? It seemed so much longer than that to him. What originally started as a fairly innocent publicity stunt had slowly but surely turned into a nightmare.

Something had changed, he wasn't sure when and why but lately he had found himself drawn to her on so many levels, it was not even funny. She was consuming his every waking thought - and a few sleeping ones. He wanted her. He wanted to talk to her, hold her, kiss her…. Lock them both in a room for a week or so and make wild passionate love to her. But he couldn't let it happen, not like this anyway.

Tearing his eyes away from the window, Robin sighed and turned his attention back to his half-packed suitcase. It was time to quit daydreaming and get back business. He had a charity event in London to attend to…. and then when he got back, there were articles to write, plot lines to polish and a chapters to finish. He didn't have time for a serious relationship in his life right now… at least that was what he was trying to convince himself of.

This whole dating thing was never supposed to get this complicated. The plan had been to keep things simple… simple but convincing … Step 1) Find a suitable love interest, preferably someone nice but flawed... Step 2) Show her off at a few public events…Step 3) Dump her and get on with your life…. No emotions invested, no strings attached, no headache…

A brilliant plan in theory, but in reality it had already backfired on him and he hadn't even gotten to the second step yet…

Adding another shirt to the pile of clothes in his suitcase Robin pushed the closet door closed and reached for the plane tickets on the dresser.. He was meeting Marian at the airport in less than two hours. They were flying to London for the fifth annual charity ball for children's cancer awareness.

Attendance was by invitation only and these invitations were hard to come by. Allan, who had a female friend serving on the board of the Children's Hospital foundation, had used his connections as well as his charm to get him in. And since it was for a good cause it had been fairly easy to convince Marian to come along as his date.

Robin knew he should be thrilled about this trip, after all it was a perfect opportunity for publicity, but it also meant more headache….

How the hell was he going to survive two looong nights alone in a hotel suit with this girl without succumbing to his desire? He didn't want to hurt her. She deserved better, someone better than him, someone who could tell her how much he loved her and needed her. Someone who would never use her for selfish purposes... She deserved the best…

The morning of the London trip, Marian's alarm clock failed to go off and she ended up oversleeping several hours. Still half-unconscious she stumbled her way to the bathroom and rushed through her morning routine as fast as her sleepy mind would allow. She didn't wake up fully until she got into the shower and nearly freezed to death because her sister had already used up all the hot water.

Some days you just shouldn't get out of bed…

Trying to brush her teeth while dragging her luggage to the front door resulted in a stubbed toe and a nasty bruise on her knee. In an effort to toast a slice of bread for breakfast, she nearly managed to burn down the house. And then when she was finally on her way to the airport, the cab got stuck in traffic.

Overall Marian was having a pretty shitty start of the day… Looking back, maybe she should have taken that as a sign of what this weekend had in store for her… but she didn't. She was way too excited about finally spending some time alone with her man, to let a little bad luck dampen her spirit….

Arriving late, Marian plowed through the departure hall, knocking over everything in her way. After a few minutes of frantic searching she found a very nervous looking Robin pacing a hole in the floor over by the terminal ticket counter. The poor guy had probably been waiting for quit a while but there was literally no time for apologies. Together they rushed through customs and security and made it to the gate just before "closing time" only to discover that their flight had been delayed due to technical reasons.

Waiting can be such a slow torture… Thank God for airport malls!

Three-and-a-half hours passed and the morning turned into afternoon before they were finally allowed to board the plane. The hour-long flight was uneventful, with the exception of some minor turbulence and they touched ground in London without any further delays.

With the big "charity ball" thing only hours away, Robin was running behind schedule. After a quick stop by the hotel to check in, they headed straight for the Children's Hospital were Robin was invited to visit the open house held by the Center for Young Cancer Patients.

Marian was offered to tag along, as Robin and some of the other special invited guests, were given the mandatory grand tour of the hospital ward, which she happily agreed to. Partly because she was curious, it was a whole new experience for her to see Robin rubbing shoulders with other socialites. But mostly because she was star struck… She had recognised Chris Martin, Kelly Osborne and some soccer player she couldn't remember the name of, among the group of VIP Guest.

The tour ended in the pediatric play area, with an opportunity to meet and interact with some of the young patients, and their relatives. To say that the room erupted in activity was an understatement . Of course, the celebrity guests stole the show but Robin got his fair share of attention.

At one point there was this little girl, with the cutest little dimples and chipmunk cheeks, that warped herself around Robin's legs in an ecstatic, spontaneous, full-body-and-soul embrace that perhaps only a toddler can deliver. Marian could have sworn she felt her ovaries ache at the sight. Even the women behind her were like, "Oh my gosh, he's picking her up! How cute is that?" And then everyone and their grandma took pictures as Robin bouncing the little girl on his hip.

That moment was without a doubt the highlight of Marian's day so far. Little did she know her "hospital stay" would not end a pleasant as it started…


	14. Softer than your butterfly kisses

* * *

  


AN: It's heating up now and that's all I'm saying ;)

* * *

  


**Softer than your butterfly kisses Softer than your butterfly kisses**

_Softer than your butterfly kisses and stronger than my desire ._

_I wanna thank you my friend for making me feel alive._

* * *

Marian was sitting on the bathroom counter, clutching a wad of damp tissue in her hand, when suddenly there was a light knock on the door.

"Honey, are you okay?" A concerned Robin asked from the other room.

His question was met with silence.

"Marian, what's the matter? You are starting to worry me now! You have been in there since we got back from the hospital… "

The doorknob rattled but Marian ignored the sound, ignored HIM, and kept staring absentmindedly at the watch on her wrist.

1 hour and 41 minutes….

No, correction, 1 hour and 40 minutes, that was exactly how much time she had left before she had to join Robin in the limo that would take them to the big "adventure".

Oh, how she had been looking forward to it. She had been counting the days, like a schoolgirl waiting for her prom night. Now she dreaded it, with every fiber of her being…

The magic was gone, the fairytale ending of the night was out of reach. Sure, her Prince Charming was still there waiting for her in the other room. Problem was she didn't feel much like Cinderella anymore.

Not when the full length of her lower arm, from elbow to fingertips, was covered in a blindingly white cast. The result of a nasty little fall she had taken in the crowded lobby on her way OUT of the hospital. Ironic isn't it?!

Anyway, apparently the word of a certain popstar's whereabouts had leaked and the turnout of fans was quite impressive. To make a long story short, Marian stumbled and lost her balance and when she crashed to the floor she accidentally landed on her arm and now her arm was broken.

She strongly suspected that someone had stuck a foot out to trip her, but she couldn't be sure. It all happened so fast and she was always tripping over her own feet anyway….So she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She had caused enough of a scene as it was….

Poor Robin, the whole room had turned to stare at the two of them. People were pointing and whispering, a few even laughing... It was like high school all over again. She didn't blame them though, she wasn't exactly the most graceful of persons and she had made quite a spectacle of herself. Besides she was used to it, she'd grown up with insults and taunts. But she couldn't help but feel bad about embarrassing her boyfriend…

She was such a klutz. Situations like these always made Marian feel horribly out of place. She didn't fit in. No matter how hard she tried, her best would never be good enou-…

There was another knock on the bathroom door. More insistent this time.

"Marian, if you don't open the door I'll kick it in. Don't think I won't, 'cos I will…. I'll even call the fire department if I have to."

Marian couldn't help but feel her lips twitch into a slight smile at his empty threats. She and him both knew he'd probably end up hurting himself if tried to brake through that door.

"D-d-don't do anything stupid. I'm f-f-fine… I'll be out in a second," she choked out quickly, hoping he wouldn't hear the quiver in her voice.

Taking a deep breath she wiped her tears away and turned on the faucet to wash off her smeared makeup. "Where are those fairy godmothers when you need them?" she sighed and smoothed out her dress before she scrambled off the counter and unlocked the door.

"Have you been crying?" was the first thing Robin said as he stepped over the threshold.

"No.." Marian replied quickly, shaking her head, but her quivering voice betrayed her.

"Your eyes are all red, sweetie. Marian, it's okay, whatever it is, you can talk to me," Robin said softly and wrapped a protective arm around her waist.

"I'm fine, really I am…." she insisted and pulled herself out of his embrace. "…but just so you know, I'm not coming with you tonight."

"What, why?! "

"Hello!? Isn't that obvious? I have a broken arm and I'm on pain medication strong enough to knock out a horse. Besides look at me, I look like a clown in this dress… " she whined, gesturing wildly at her reflection in the full length mirror.

The harsh fluorescent light in the bathroom was not flattering to Marian, it made her face look pasty and her eyes puffy and wet. And as for the cast on her left arm… Well let's just say it didn't exactly match her semi-formal, classic cut, long-sleeved black ball gown.

The stylish almost figure tight number was showing off a lot more legs and curves than anything Robin had ever seen her wearing before. Only with her broken arm being almost twice its normal size the dress didn't quite clung to her body the way it was suppose to… The sleeve was stuck around her elbow, leaving a shoulder and a very low bodice with two firm milky white breasts almost entirely exposed.

She looked so hysterical with her tousled hair, smudged mascara and missfitting clothes that Robin couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Hey, stop that! This is so not funny!!" Marian snapped and gazed up at him with tear-filled eyes. "I thought you was different but I should have known you'd eventually end up making fun of me just like everyone else," she sobbed and pushed herself past him, almost knocking him over, as she rushed out of the bathroom.

Mentally scolding himself for his insensibility Robin followed her as she fled to the smaller one of the two bedrooms in the penthouse suit. He caught up with her just as she threw herself on the bed and curled into a fetal position. Sighing sadly, he sank down next to her and pressed his lips to the top of her head, holding her tightly as her shoulders shook with quiet sobs.

"Stay away!" Marian protested her voice raw with pain. "I can't do this anymore…It hurt's to much. I'm such a looser, you deserve better…"

"Shhh, don't say that." He shushed her as he held her tightly, feeling her tears against his chest. "Don't you EVER say anything like that!" he repeated more forcefully this time as he gently took a hold of her chin and forced her to look straight into his eyes. "You shouldn't diss yourself like that. I'm the fool here not you, Marian. You're all a man could ever wish for. You're funny, smart, and amazingly sexy. Your beauty never cease to amaze me and I'm eternally grateful I have someone like you by my side."

Her eyes widened and he thought for a minute that he'd gone too far, said too much. Then she frowned and shook her head.

"What?…You don't think I really mean it? " he asked and reached out to pull her back into his arms again.

"I don't know... I don't know ANYTHING anymore… I hate feeling this insecure! Can't you see how messed up I am?!…. Honestly, I don't think this relationship is going to work..."

Robin felt something tighten in his chest at her words. Was she trying to break up with him?… again? He didn't want it to end, not now, not this way… But what else could he possibly do that he hadn't already tried….

Suddenly, he knew the answer, he knew what drastic measures he had to take to convince her to stay with him. It wasn't something he necessary felt good about doing but what the heck he was already doomed to burn in hell anyway so what difference did it make…

"I can't let you do this. I can't let you give up on us like this…." Refusing to acknowledge the panic flooding through his veins Robin forced his voice to stay steady as he spoke.

"We could be so good together. Please let me prove it to you…, " he didn't wait for her response, the last syllables were whispered as his mouth clamped down on hers.

Marian tried to pull away from the sensation at first, but Robin moved with her and wouldn't let their lips part. Finally, she gave in to his probing tongue and began returning the kiss. Why fight it, when capitulation would be infinitely more pleasurable? Letting her passionate nature take over she used her good arm to grab a hold of his shirt. Leaning back on the bed she pulled him down with her.

The rush of intensity they shared as their bodies came into full contact caused them both to gasp with delight. The layers of clothes between them only served to heighten the sensation.

Marian was tingling all over, every square centimetre of her flesh felt on fire. Her mouth was burning, her stomach, her breasts, her thighs were all burning for him. Or maybe the heat was just a strange side effect from the painkillers… Either way his roaming hands and skilful mouth were providing more than enough distraction to make her forget…Forget about her insecurities…. Forget about the pain…Forget about everything but him…. Or at least that was what Robin was secretly hoping for.

Taking it one step further he pushed his hips down and started rubbing himself against her thigh in an excruciatingly slow manner. Marian's eyes widened, her head flung back and her spine arched and suddenly their bodies were moving almost in unison. Marian had never felt more desired in her life….

Somewhere in her dulled mind alarm bells were ringing warnings of foolishness. But Marian ignored it. She was ready for more and she was ready for it now. She would deal with the consequences later. All that mattered was this man and the excitement he made her feel.

Wide-eyed with fascination she watched Robin as he scrambled out of bed and wiggled out of his pants. His shirt was tossed onto the floor and his boxer shorts soon followed.

Naked, hard and exposed he squirmed under her inspecting gaze. But he didn't have to worry. Judging by the deep blush and the small smirk on Marian's face she was quite happy with what she saw…

"One of us is wearing to much clothing." Robin murmured as he sank back down on the bed beside her and captured her mouth in a soul-searing kiss. His hands travelled over her shoulders and down her back, seeking the zip of her dress.

"Can I?" he asked, tugging at the fabric.

She nodded and nervously lifted her hips to help him as he slid not only her dress, but her underwear off as well. All of a sudden, she was overcome with shyness. Getting naked with him was officially further than she had ever gone with any man before. She wanted this… but the urge to cover herself was overwhelming. The fear of rejection weighed heavy on her mind.

Robin wasn't oblivious to her discomfort. The vulnerable look on her face spoke volumes. "Would it make you feel any better if I close the curtains and turn out the light?" he asked her softly and rose to his feet.

Marian's grateful look was answer enough and soon the room was covered in darkness.

The lack of light didn't stop Robin. He didn't need his vision to appreciate the gorgeous creature stretched out on the bed before him. Like a blind man seeing the world only through his touch, he took his time exploring every inch of her body with his hands… fingers… and lips.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed against her neck, losing himself in the feeling of the velvet heat of her skin. He couldn't get enough of her. He couldn't taste her enough or hold her closely enough. He had wanted to touch her like this for days now….weeks even… But never had his fantasies been anywhere near this erotic. Her body had the perfect shape to make any man want to grab onto her and never let go. Her wide hips and voluptuous curves made her look like a "real woman". She was soft and round in all the right places and a few of the wrong ones. But in the heat of the moment Robin could care less about those extra pounds.

Dipping his head he trailed his tongue down her throat and chest to the swell of her breasts. Marian's response was immediate. Moaning softly she arched her back and pressed herself more firmly against his mouth. By now she was barely able to process what was happening around her. Robin's sweet assault on her breasts was sending emotions ricocheting through her heart and mind. … She couldn't believe things were finally happening. She was on the verge of becoming a woman, all the wondering, worrying and waiting were soon going to be over but would it live up to her expectations? Would she live up to HIS expectations?! Millions of question marks, but no answers. All she knew was that she wanted to brand this moment into her memory for life.

For a while there Robin seemed more than content to focus all his energy on her breasts. Soon, however, his attention left her chest area and shifted downwards.

His lips began an excruciatingly slow journey down her ribcage and over the soft curves of her abdomen.

"God, Marian , you're killing me," he groaned as he came close enough to inhale the deep, rich scent of her arousal.

Marian whimpered softly and raised her hips off the bed, an invitation Robin could not resist. Sliding down further between her quivering thighs he carefully placed his open mouth against her swollen, sensitive flesh.

Her entire body jerked and gasped loudly at the first velvety brush of his tongue. Robin swiftly caught her squirming hips and held her still as his mouth continued its almost worshipful exploration of her most intimate treasures. Licking, nibbling and stroking he quickly brought her to the verge of orgasm. But instead of letting her fall over he kept her dangling on the edge seemingly forever.

"You are so ready for me aren't you baby?" he murmured against her inner thigh, his hot breath sending violent shivers up her spine, making Marian's entire body quiver with suppressed need.

"Stop teasing me," she begged in a voice barely above a whisper, her hands tugging at his hair almost painfully.

Partly out of pity for the gorgeous girl writhing in exquisite agony in front of him, and partly because his own arousal was becoming seriously problematic, Robin decided to do just that. She was way beyond enough lubricated for further advancement…. Mission accomplished…

Ignoring her groan of despair he sat up and carefully disentangling their bodies. Reaching over the edge of the bed, he found his fallen pants and retrieved a condom from the pocket. He felt very much like a schoolboy who'd never had a woman before as he fumbled with the foil, but it couldn't be helped. Sighing deeply he tried to get his body under control, but it wasn't doing much good. He couldn't wait another minute. Pulse pounding, heart racing, he moved to position himself between her legs.

With his hardness just barely brushing against her entrance, he looked into her eyes and kissed her forehead gently. Knowing he was looking for reassurance Marian met his gaze and nodded. Seconds later she felt him gently push inside.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered thrusting deeper into her.

"It's okay…" she whimpered and arched her back to lessen the pain. "It's not that bad..."

As her muscles relaxed the discomfort subsided somewhat and by the time he started moving within her a mixture of pleasure and pain had already taken over her senses. Even though she was new at this Marian quickly realized that her body already knew how this was suppose to be done. All she had to do was trust her instincts and go with it. The weight of the cast on her arm made wrapping herself around him difficult, but somehow, she managed. With her legs latched around his hips she tried to match his movements with her own. Soon they found a rhythm that had them both gasping for air.

Then something new came into their love-making , as Robin's hand slipped down between them to the point where their bodies were intimately joined. Marian's body convulsed in surprise and that was all it took to send them both beyond the point of no return.


	15. Flying so high in your perfect sky

**flying so high in your perfect sky**

_I was flying so high in your perfect sky_

_But I needed to fall, cannot have it all_

* * *

…."Good morning Ladies and gentleman this is Captain Bernstein speaking. In just about ten minutes we will begin out final approach into Nottingham East Midlands airport. The current temperature in Nottingham is 15 ºC with a light wind out of the west at 20 miles per hour. We will be landing at approximately 10:05 a.m. Please make sure your safety belt is buckled for landing. Thank you and have a nice day."….

Shaking his head as if to clear it, Robin gazed out the airplane window. There wasn't much to see yet - just a blanket of white fluffy clouds stretched forever in all directions. He sighed and shifted in his seat for the umpteenths time in less than half an hour. No matter what position he tried, he couldn't get comfortable. He didn't mind flying, but it was just so mind numbing. Not to mention rear-end numbing. He couldn't help but feel relieved that it was a short flight and that he would soon have his feet on the ground again.

Scratching his head, he glanced over at the slumbering form in the seat next to him and felt his heart skip a beat at the at the mere sight of her. Emotions he had never expected to feel hit him like tidal wave and he nearly drowned in it. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, hold her and never let her go…. Then it suddenly hit him -these emotions weren't new at all. He had been feeling this strongly about her for quite some time now… He was falling hard for her…actually, he had fallen hard for her, but of course there were a couple of hitches. For a start, you can't really base a relationship on lies and falsities, it's always doomed to failure...

As if she knew he was thinking about her Marian chose that exact moment to wake up. Yawning, she stretched her arms over her head.

"Did you have a good nap?" Robin asked and lovingly brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face.

"Like a baby," she responded and rubbed her sleepy eyes. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you. I don't know why I'm so tired. Busy week I guess…"

"…Busy night, you mean, " he said, grinning broadly at her.

"Yeah, that too," she chuckled and buried her head in his shoulder.

There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again, this time in a hushed almost shy voice. "So...um...was I…um… okay?"

"Huh?"

"Last night, I mean. It sort of was my first time…." she added with a slight blush on her cheeks..

"Could have fooled me. You were amazing , Marian. I thought I told you that."

"You did. Sorry, I just needed to hear it again," she trailed off until the final words "hear it again" were merely a spoken whisper.

She looked so unsure of herself, so insecure, and so ... so vulnerable, that Robin could have sworn he felt his heart melt even more. Pulling her closer to him he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Marian...," he said softly and swallowed hard when he felt his throat closing with emotion. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just spit it out …. Say the right thing, for once in his life?

"I love you," he finally choked out in a strangled whisper. The intensity of his feelings scared him, yet excited him in the same time.

At first, Marian was simply shocked. But a smile quickly spread across her face. "Oh, Robin… I love you too!" she whispered in delight as she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a lingering kiss.

"So I guess we're in love then," he laughed as they parted, licking his lips. "My heart is in you hands now Marian so don't break it okay!?…"

"I won't, Robin...unless you give me a reason to."

* * *

Marian felt the cab pull to a stop and heard Robin pay the driver.

"Are we there already?" she asked in a confused tone. Lifting her hand to scratch her nose, she nearly knocked herself out with the cast on her arm and hand.

"Yes, rise and shine, princess. Nap time is officially over."

"I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes," she denied hastily, blinking herself out of the grey fuzzy world she kept floating into.

"Good. I'm too tired to carry you inside." Robin replied with a little chuckle and held the car door open for her.

"Hey now, watch it. That sounded almost like an insult…" she protested as she scooted out of the back seat.

"Aww, you know I'm just teasing you, sweetie…But I'll lay off until you're fully awake, okay…. And.. uhm… if you don't feel up for this right now we can always do it some other time. I mean I totally understand if you want to go home and sleep for a decade… or two…"

"Nah, I'm fine. Don't try to weasel your way out of this. You promised you'd cook lunch for me," she reminded him and grasped the handle of the nearest suitcase and started dragging it across the driveway.

"Alright then, but just so you know, I'm lousy in the kitchen. So don't expect anything fancy. The only two permanent residents in my refrigerator are beer and frozen pizza," he warned her as he caught up with her by the front door.

"Oookaaay I see, so when you said 'Please spend the afternoon with me, I'll even cook for you….' what you really meant was 'I'm starving, let's have sex on my kitchen table…'."

"Ha, no not really but if you want to get naked in my kitchen then I'm all for it!" he chuckled and fumbled for his key chain. Once he found the right key he tried to open the door only to discover that it was already unlocked. He stared at it for a moment. "That's strange" He murmured.

"What?"

"The door… I could have sworn I looked it before I left for the airpo-…." He paused mid-sentence upon noticing there was a radio playing somewhere in the house. "What the fck I think someone is in there."

"Relax, it's probably just one of your friends, they know where you keep your spare key, right?!"

"Yeah, but there are no cars on the driveway... Do you think I should call the police?" He asked with a slight tinge of panic in his voice.

"Na, thieves generally don't use the front door, you know… I bet it's just Much. He is probably in your kitchen filling up your refrigerator right as we speak."

"You wish…," he snorted and put his phone back in his pocket again.

"Well, who else could it be?"

"I think we're about to find out because I can here footsteps and they are coming closer…"

Before the words had even left his mouth the front door swung open, causing both Robin and Marian to jump backwards like startled rabbits.

"Whoa, what are you doing here?! Marian asked in surprise as a familiar figure appeared in the doorway.

"Waiting for you, sister dearest!" The petite blond answered with a hand on her hip. "I have been trying to get a hold of you for days now but you wasn't answering you phone…so I got worried," she explained as she stepped aside to let them into the house.

"Worried? Why? I thought I told you I was going to spend the weekend with my boyfriend."

"Yeah you did, but you didn't tell me you were going out of town."

The accusation in her sisters voice didn't pass unnoticed by Marian.

"Don't go all parental on me! I'm sorry I didn't fill you in on our plans but I'm a big girl I can take care of myself…. Besides you're my sister not my mother, I don't have to tell you everything…" she protested defensively.

"Well excuse me for caring!" Sarah snapped, her voice raising a decibel and her hands clenching in frustration.

It was then Robin realised in what direction things were heading. Knowing he needed to interrupt them before their little dispute got out of hand he cleared his throat and quickly stepped between the two arguing sisters .

"Uhm… Listen you two, I know I should probably stay out of this but I think you should calm down… both of you…. Fighting never solves anything!"

He pointed at Marian. "You… behave. If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one," he paused to let it sink in and then quickly turned to Sarah. "And you my friend… How exactly did you get inside my house? I'm dying to know… Did you pick the lock or something?"

"Geez, do I look like Houdini to you ?! No, it was your wacko friend that let me in…uhm…the short one…the one watching your dog this weekend… I can't remember his name… "

"Much?"

"Yeah, that's the one. I was waiting on the front porch when he showed up. I think he came by to water your plants and bring in your mail or something… He couldn't stay for long but he said it would be okay if I waited inside… By the way you should call him. I think he's pretty pissed at you for not returning his calls …"

"Great, I guess that means he already knows, huh?! Oh, well, thanks for the warning…."

"Knows what?" Marian interrupted impatiently, feeling a bit left out of the conversation.

"That we skipped a certain important social function and stayed in our hotel room the entire night instead of rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous… " Robin explained quickly.

"Oh that… Sorry, I didn't mean to get you into trouble," she sighed patting his shoulder with the fingers sticking out of her cast.

"Hey, it's not like you injured your arm on purpose. He'll understand…."

"What?! Are you injured? Is that a cast on your arm?! Why didn't you tell me? Is it broken? When did this happen?!" Sarah completely exploded with questions.

Marian rolled her eyes at her sister in annoyance and cut her off when she paused breathe. "Knock it off already! I have been standing here for five minutes now with the cast on my arm fully visible and you haven't even noticed it. So stop pretending like you care… I was clumsy. I tripped and fell. It's nothing major, it will heal in a couple of weeks. End of story!"

Sarah shook her head and blinked a couple of times. "That was rude! I DO care! You're my sister, I don't want hurt you or see you get hurt," her words may have been directed at Marian but her eyes were focused on Robin as she spoke. When she didn't get the reaction she was hoping, or any reaction for that matter, she gave up and reached for her jacket on the coat rack.

"I can tell when I'm not wanted so I'll be heading home now. But before I leave I want Robin to check his answering machine."

"What ?! Why?! No wait don't answer that, it doesn't matter… You can't tell us what to do! Just get going already and leave me alone." Marian said and gave her sister a not so gentle push towards the door. She was tiered, hungry and cranky and quite frankly running out of patience with Sarah's strange behaviour. Less then a month ago she had considered her sister one of her closest friends but now she didn't know what to think anymore…. She didn't trust her that's for sure…

"Stop! Wait! I can explain… I was here when the phone rang. I didn't think it was my place to answer it so I let the machine take it. I didn't mean to snoop or anything but I couldn't help but hear what was said…. It's was short but…. uhm… interesting …. And I think it is of great importance that you listen to it. Not just Robin but both of you…."

Marian threw Robin questioning glance but he only shrugged.

"I have no idea what this is all about. But let's get this over with, shall we?!" he suggested and walked across the hallway to the wooden shelf where the phone was located. Soon the sound of the answering machine replaying messages filled the room.

Let's just say interesting was not the right word for it…


	16. no good words left

**no good words left**

There is nothing I can say  
There are no good words left anyway  
Besides people are cruel and the world still moves without you, ohhh

...

_Hello! This is Robin's toaster. Robin's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done...Cachunk! _

One would think he'd be used to hearing his own voice but still there was a split second when Robin seriously considered covering his ears ...

"Oops, wrong one, sorry ..." he apologized sheepishly and gave the buttons on the answering machine panel another try. This time he found the right one and was rewarded with a digital voice informing him he had 5 new messages.

_BEEP Hi Robin! Hi Robin's toaster... Gee, I wish I had an answering machine that well mannered. Mine keeps chewing on the tape all the time!... Um...anyway I guess you're out or something, so I'll call again later... Bye! _

"That was Allan, right?" Marian asked as the first message ended. Robin couldn't help but notice how cute she looked with her tiny nose wrinkled and her slightly arched brows furrowed in concentration as she tried to match the voice with a name.

"Yes, that was a'Dale," he answered and drew her closer to give her a quick peck on the cheek as the answering machine started playing the next message, - A telemarketer trying to sell a lifetime supply of sun block.

The third message was from his grandfather wondering why he hadn't called in several days. And the fourth one was from Much, warning him that his grandfather was going to call.

By the time the machine moved on to the fifth caller Robin was beginning to feel nervous. Sarah was pacing the room in circles like a shark waiting for the prey to show some sort of weakness. "What could she possibly have overheard?" There was something about her behaviour that left an uneasy feeling in his gut...

_BEEP Hi it's Will… I thought you'd be home by now... I guess not... I hope you're having a good time... but not too good of a time... Look, Much and Allan filled me in on what's been going on lately and man I have to tell you that I think what you're doing is wrong. You can't string the poor girl along like you are. That's not cool... You and I both know that in the end she is not someone you'll take home to meet your grandpa and its no-...BEEP _

It was probably a good thing that his friend was cut off short. Not that it matter much though, the damage was already done and Robin knew he had a lot of explaining to do...

The room had gone silent and when he looked up he found both sisters staring at him -Sarah with an expression of malicious triumph on her face and Marian with eyes wide with confusion and betrayal.

"Sorry you had to hear that..." he began slowly not sure how to form the words to make things right again. Lying to her wasn't getting any easier.

"Marian, you know how strongly I feel about you, right? Or at least I hope you do! Because I really, REALLY like you... "

He reached for her hands, but she jerked away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Okay, fine I won't! But please listen to me! The thing is, I wasn't sure in the beginning... you know, about what I felt and what I wanted out of this relationship. I was having some doubts and I kind of talked to Allan about it at one point... I needed to vent and he was there to listen. But a lot have changed since then. I mean, you and I have gotten a lot closer... I'm still confused as hell about a lot of things but I know now in my heart that you're the right girl for me so please don't make a big deal out of this!"

"And this is the truth?" Marian asked with an edge of weariness in her voice.

"Well, it's the short version of it...But yeah, I love you and that's the truth..."

"Bah! The short version. Excuse me for laughing! You left out more than you included," Sarah interrupted loudly and wrapped an arm protectively around Marian's shoulder.

"She's so gullible my sister -always has been! But you're not fooling me, not for a minute. I knew you would try to talk your way out of this so I took the liberty to look into a few things..."

"Stay out of this I can take care of this myself!"

"No you can't. He's a jerk, can't you see that?! He's been feeding you lies since day one and I'm not just saying that I have proof, I have it in black and white!" Sarah said, pulling out a big folder of documents she had been hiding behind her back.

"You recognize this Robin? I found it on your desk upstairs. Should I tell her what it is or do you want to do it?" she asked and waved the folder triumphantly in the air.

Unfortunately he did recognize them... All to well... If Robin had been nervous before, he was desperate now.

"Those papers are strictly work related and very private. You shouldn't have read them and you shouldn't have gone through my stuff! Hand it over!" he demanded sternly, trying to act calm but on the inside his mind was racing a mile-a-minute.

"She will do no such thing!" Marian stepped in and took the papers from her sister. "Stop shouting! You two are giving me a headache. I want to know what this is all about...Do I have to read them or are you going to level with me, Robin?"

He lifted his head to look at her, the pain he saw in her eyes were unbearable.

"Okay, fine... I'll tell you what's in there. It's nothing but a protocol from a meeting..."

"And?"

"... and an analysis of my public image made by a PR consultant."

"And?...There has to be more because I still don't get it..."

"Let me fill in the blanks for you, sister dearest. Someone, his grandfather I'm guessing, wants him to make some major changes in the way he present himself in the public eye… there is something about a lawsuit… Basically Mr Hotshot here needs to clean up his act... There is a whole chapter about what car he should drive, what clothes he should wear and what kind of social functions he should attend. There are even some suggestions listed in there about what type of girl he should be seen with... "

"It's not as bad as it sounds, Marian..."

"And I quote "someone that isn't too perfect, someone with the "girl next door" kind of look, someone down to earth with flaws and emotional baggage..," read it yourself, it's on the last page..."

"It's not as bad as it sounds..." Robin repeated. The words sounded unconvincing even to him.

"The hell it is Robin! It's even dated, 29 sept 2008, it says... That's the day we met. I can't believe i trusted you...," suddenly overwhelmed by what she had just found out, Marian exploded with rage and tears. "Get out of here! I never want to see you again. Get out!"

"Marian, hunny, calm down, I'm not going anywhere, it's my house..."

"Ohhh...alright then... I'm out of here! Don't follow me, don't come anywhere near me! I don't want to see you ever again!," she sobbed before she stormed out the room.

"I'm sorry, darling. I never meant to hurt you," he called out after her as he tried to reach her before she could leave. But he was held back by a surprisingly strong Sarah.

"I don't think so! You heard her! I'm not letting you go after her"

"She is upset, she shouldn't be alone..."

"I agree! Look, I have my car parked down the street. I'll go after her and make sure she gets home alright."

"Take care of her! Tell her I'm sorry, okay?!" There was bitterness in his voice, mixed with sorrow.

He knew defeat when it slapped him right in the face. He also knew he only had himself to blame... He had hurt her, hurt her deeply. So deeply she may never come back to him again. He had lost the only thing that made sense in his life. The only reality of unconditional love he had ever known.

She was gone...


	17. There is only disappointment

**there is only disappointment**

Sometimes you put all of your desires in an object of affection

_But in time because you idolise there is only disappointment_

_----------------------------  
_

_Later that night_

Marian heard the doorbell ring, but ignored the sound. Feeling miserable and anti-social as hell, she didn't want to leave the safety of her bedroom. She didn't want to see or talk to anyone not even her sister. It had been a long and emotional day. Her arm was pounding dully and all she wanted was to fall asleep and drift into a world of oblivion.

The bell rang again and she held her breath for a second, straining to hear if Sarah was going to answer the door or not.... With the third ring, her lazy sister finally turned off the TV and dragged herself out of the living room.

Wood creaked, footsteps echoed down the hallway and the front door was opened. Marian listened for more sounds, but none came. Presumably, whoever had been waiting outside didn't seem to be somebody Sarah invited in.

Minutes passed and nothing happened. Marian was just about to crawl back into her bed again when suddenly her sisters loud voice screeched through the apartment.

"Marian! Someone's at the door for you!"

"Who is it?... " she found herself forced to shout back. Then suddenly it dawned on her. "No, wait, you don't have to answer that. It's HIM, isn't it?!"

"Yes, it's Robin. Apparently you forgot your suitcase at his house. He has it in his car but he refuses to hand it over unless he gets to talk to you in person. So get out here now will ya!"

"I don't want to... Can't you take care of it?!" Marian wined. Spending the entire afternoon cooped up in her room crying and feeling sorry for herself had left her cranky and irritable. She so did not want to deal with this now. Or ever, for that matter... "I don't care about my luggage. Ask him to leave.... Scare him away.... Push him down the stairs... Do something, anything... Just as long as you get him to leave."

"Don't you think I have tried ?! He wont budge. He's even threatening to put up a tent and camp in our garden until you talk to him. Look, I don't have all day. Either you get out here and handle this yourself or I will call the cops and have them sort it out... Those are the options, you choose... Just hurry up because I don't have time for this shit..."

"Alright, alright. No cops! I'm on my way!" Pulling her robe tighter around herself Marian stomped out of her bedroom and joined her sister in the hallway.

"I can't believe I'm doing this... God, will this nightmare never end. I so do not deserve this..." she muttered to herself as she took a deep breath and pushed the front door open and stepped outside.

Marian felt herself tear up again as she stared at the poor excuse of a man waiting for her on the other side of the threshold. A thousand emotions danced across her eyes: anger, betrayal, doubt, sadness, hope and even love. ... But none of them was trust and that's when she knew it was over...

They stood there looking at each other in silence for a few moments before Marian shuddered and turned her face away.

"Can I come in?" Robin asked quietly and nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"No. That wont be necessary," Marian replied coldly as she closed the door behind her and leaned with her back against it.

"You've got some nerve showing up here, but fine I'll give you five minutes to explain yourself...." she said, and placed a hand on her hip. "....Starting now."

It was unsettling how quiet she was. Robin had expected her to yell and curse at him, but her demeanor was calm if not a little weary. Robin was nervous, his hands wouldn't stop shaking and his chest tightened painfully. The words of apology he had rehearsed before he left home were now long forgotten. He started mumbling something about how sorry he was and how he hadn't meant to hurt her....

Marian refused to even look at him. "Are you done?" she snapped and continued without waiting for his answer. " I'll save you some time. I already know why you did it. I have read all the documents in your folder, from front to back. And its okay, I understand.... Your family is under a microscope right now because of that lawsuit. It's all about saving face... Fine! I can accept that... But what I can't accept is when someone I'm in a relationship with lies to me!"

He didn't say anything at first, he just stood there looking like he'd been punched in the gut. Then he pulled himself together and took a few steps towards her.

"I know this is much to ask but can you please give me another chance. I know that what I did was wrong. But it wont happen again. I can change, I promise...."

"It's over, Robin. I don't want you in my life anymore. "

"But I love you! Doesn't that count for anything?!"

"No, because you're just like every other man I ever known... It's all about sex.... A man only says "I love you" when he's drunk and horny or during mind-blowing sex, or when he screws up and is in danger of not getting any action..."

"...or when he really means it!" Robin finished the sentence for her.

"True, there is a slim chance that you really mean it but I'm not taking any chances. This is goodbye, Robin. I'm leaving town. I'm going back to Denmark, where my mum lives and where my true friends are.... It was silly of me to come here in the first place. I'm a small town girl, I don't belong here, I never did..."

"Please don't go!" he whispered tearfully, ragged sobs shaking his broad shoulders.

"It's too late for us. My mind is made up... I hope you really do change. Not for me but for yourself.... But this is the end...it has to be... "


	18. Drowning in my tears

* * *

AN:One more chapter to go after this and like Magpie287 pointed out there are still a few more confessions to be made___._

* * *

**Drowning in my tears**

_How many days am I going to regret you?  
How many nights till I forget you?  
Have I been wasting all these years?  
Drowning in my tears?_

63 lonely, dark and depressing days later

Marian loved the feeling of the cold breeze against her face, loved the salty smell of the sea and the feeling of fresh air filling her lungs. The ferry had just left the shelter of Calais harbour for the open channel and she was leaning against the railing at the edge of the deck, fully enjoying the vastness of the sea around her.

Watching the shore lights fade away she reached into her shoulder bag she pulled a tattered piece of paper out of her wallet. It was a letter, which she had read and reread so many times its edges had grown worn and ragged. She handled it carefully, as she read it again.

_Marian_

_I don't know where to start. I'm not much for writing letters the old-fashioned way. It's hard to put on paper what's in my __heart and mind. Which must sound funny coming from someone who writes sappy poetry for a living. To__ tell you the truth my trash can is filled to the rim with half-written letters that I will never send and lyrics that will never be heard by who it was intended for. I have come to realize that some things are just easier to say (and do) face-to-face. But since I have no other way of contacting you, here I am struggling to write this blasted thing... I know I shouldn't whine about it, though. I brought this on myself..._

_I don't blame you for not taking my calls... and I don't blame you if you're mad at me for flooding your voice mail.... I don't blame you for being mad, period. But I hope you'll read this letter and maybe listen to a few of the messages I have left for you... because I owe you an apology, a proper one this time, so here goes; I'm sorry for everything. You didn't deserve to be treated the way I've treated you. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. But no matter how it all started, and no matter how it ended up, almost everything in between was real. I hope you can believe that and I hope you can forgive me someday (hopefully soon) because I miss you like crazy and I'd like for us to be on talking terms again..._

_Love  
Robin_

With shaky hands she slowly folded the letter again and put it back in her wallet. She knew there would come times when she would regret her decision. But right now it felt good to be back.

The sun was rude enough to come up while Robin was still asleep and he woke up to obnoxious rays of light shining in his face. Was it morning already? Stifling a groan, he sat up and scrambled for his cell phone on the nightstand. Swinging his feet off the bed he flipped it open. "One missed call" was flashing across the display screen. He quickly checked the number, hoping for a small miracle. Checking his messages before he even brushed his teeth had been a part of his morning routine for weeks now. But like so many times before his prayer wasn't answered this morning either...

He sat there numb for a second waiting for the wave of disappointment and the pain that he knew would come. In a sudden fit of rage he threw his precious phone at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

It's over. She is really gone. Stop bullsh*tting yourself, he thought as he watched it shattering on the floor.

His friends kept telling him to move on with his life, to search for greener pastures. Frankly he was sick of hearing those 'encouraging' words. He felt cursed. It was like he had the Midas touch when it came to relationships. Except everything he touched didn't turn to gold but to shit. If it could go wrong then it did.

The first couple of weeks after the breakup he had thought for sure that she would come back. Not to him but to her job, to her apartment, to the life she had made for herself long before he even met her. He remembered thinking that her talk about moving out of the country was nothing but empty threats made in the heat of emotion....

How wrong he had been... He wanted to kick himself for being so naive. For taking for granted that things would work themselves out if he just gave her some time alone to think. For clinging to the hope that she would want to keep in touch with him. For even thinking that she would want him in her life after all the crap he had put her through.

Sitting there in his big empty house, on his big empty bed, he felt more lonely than he'd ever felt before.

"Stop being such a baby, life goes on..." he scolded himself

But right then and there, he couldn't see how....

-----------------------------------------

Robin was panting harder than the dog when they returned from their morning walk. Nemo didn't particularly like to walk on leash and Robin's arms were sore from trying to keep up with his furry friend who seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood that day. As they got closer to the house Nemo started barking and whining for no apparent reason. Robin did not think anything of it until he saw the unfamiliar car parked on his driveway outside the garage. It was a Volvo from Scotty's Car Rental with a foreign license plate, possibly Danish.

DANISH!

He didn't want to get his hope up but his heartbeat was already speeding up and breathing was becoming almost impossible. Nemo, his loyal companion, immediately sensed his mixed feelings and began to howl.

Slowly, almost in slow-motion, the door on the drivers side opened and someone...a woman... a brunette...stepped out of the car. Robin released a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding as he recognised the oh so familiar figure. The cast on her arm was gone and she looked great - healthy and relaxed. Letting go of the leash, he watched his dog rush to her side with wagging tail and joyous barks. He wasn't dreaming, it really was her, Marian, waiting for him outside his house.

"Don't you want to know why I'm here?" She asked later as they were sitting on the front lawn, sipping cold soda and enjoying the sunny weather.

"No, I'm just glad you came."

"Did you know that your friends and family have been calling me? All of them worrying about you and telling me how out of character you have been acting lately."

"I did not ask them to do that," he answered quickly in a defensive tone.

"I know that. Don't worry they made that perfectly clear.... The final straw was when your grandfather called and apologised on your behalf. Saying that he did not raise his grandson to be a coward or a fool... It was kind of sweet twisted sort of way. He made me promise I would come here and talk to you."

"Oh, so that's why you're here. He can be rather persuasive sometimes. Remind me to thank him later," he chuckled and put his empty glass can away.

"I read the letter you wrote me and you're right, some things are better said face to face..."

"So you're here to talk?! That is fine with me. Actually that's better than fine that's great. I wasn't sure that letter would ever reach you. I mean I asked your sister to give it to you but I had no way of knowing if she would keep her promise or not..." Robin seemed to realize he was rambling and trailed off, blushing slightly. "Sorry, I'll shut up and let you talk now."

"Thanks! Look, there are still a few things I don't understand. I had a little chat with Much the other day and I know now that the trip to London we made was suppose to be all about publicity... You and me being seen on the red carpet together, being photographed, making it to the gossip columns... But that never happened, we never went anywhere near the red carpet and I just want to know why you changed your mind." Marian demanded in a low but firm voice.

"That's easy to explain. I chickened out. That night after we made lo-... err... had sex for the first time you were ready to jump out of bed and rush to that stupid charity ball even though you didn't even have a dress to wear. I'm pretty sure it wasn't something you really wanted to do, considering your broken arm and all, but you were ready to do it anyway... for me. It I just made me realise what an incredible person you are and I couldn't do it, I couldn't go through with it..."

"Okay, that's pretty much what Much said too.... But I wasn't sure I believed him. All your friends seem to think that you're a really good person despise your faults and flaws. They have known you a lot longer than I have so maybe they have seen sides of you that I haven't... I don't know... I'm tired of this. I want to believe them, I want to believe you. I want to be able to trust you again...."

"Does that mean we are going to be okay?" Robin interrupted softly.

"To be honest with you, I don't know," she said barely able to meet his eyes.

"I messed up big time, didn't I?," he asked slowly, wanting desperately to take her into his arms but knowing she would never allow it. "I love you Marian, so much and all I want is a chance to make things right, to be in your life again. I know I have no right to ask you this, I know, I just, I can't help myself," he added and felt himself get teary eyed.

Marian took his hand and moved closer. " I still have feelings for you. I wouldn't be here today if I didn't. Despite everything that has happened, you still have my heart."

"Does that mean we can be together again? " he asked, a hopeful smile spreading on his face.

"It means we can work towards getting back together. But Robin you lied to me and you broke our trust. I do love you honey, but I don't trust you, not like people who are lovers should."

"I'll do anything Marian, you know that. "

"Then let's be friends and go from there, okay?! " she suggested.

"I'll take whatever I can get... I just want you in my life again."

-------------------------------------


	19. Searching for love again

**Author's Note:** This is the final chapter. I would just like to thank you all for reading this fic in its entirety and even more thanks for reviewing. It's been a while since I started it and I've loved it and hated it at the same time. If you enjoyed it, please let me know. Give feedback and even ideas for future fics. Thanks so much.

**

* * *

**

**Searching for love again**

_Lookin' back on lonely nights.  
Searching for love again I never knew  
my journey began And ended with you my friend_

_

* * *

  
_

Robin and Marian eventually left the garden and went inside, leaving the Nemo to amuse himself in the backyard.

"So, where are you staying? Robin asked as he opened the refrigerator in search for something to eat. "Not with your sister, right?"

"Hell no! I mean, normally I get along with her just fine but there is way too much rivalry going on between us right now... And it's all your fault.... Well, sort of anyway... Your interest in me bugs the hell out of my sister.... She expects everything to revolve around her. She thrives on attention, especially male attention. And usually she gets a lot more of it than I do. Until you came into the picture that is.... "

"Aww, sorry. I never meant cause trouble.... But I'd pick you over her any day of the week. You know that right?!"

"Uhm yeah, I mean, you have seen my love handles and flabby thighs and you still haven't fled the field. That has to count for something.... I know it and my sister knows it too. And that's why sharing an apartment with her right now would be a really bad idea. She's such a sore looser.!" Marian explained and sank onto one of the chairs by the kitchen table.

" Oookay, I see your point.... But you're staying, right? You're not going out of state again, are you?" he asked carefully, giving her a sideward cautious glance.

"No, actually I thought I'd live here."

"HERE." Robin's head shot up.

"Ha, relax, I'm only kidding.... So much for "I'll do anything... "

"Sorry, you just took me by surprise, that's all...," he said quickly with an uneasy smile.

"Christ, stop apologising every two seconds. The sooner you start acting normal around me, the better off we'll both be," Marian said with an irritated bite to her voice.

"Okay, normal it is. I'll try to remember that.... So how about some lunch? I have some great stuff in here," Robin said, turning back to the refrigerator. "Take-out leftovers from that Italian restaurant down the street that you love so much."

"Oh, yummy, count me in!" Marian chimed happily as she watched him place a plate of lasagna inside the microwave and turned the timer to three minutes.

"Hey, Robin you remember Fanny from my old job, right?"

"The receptionist?" he asked and moved on to the slicing tomatoes for a salad. "What about her?"

"Well, you asked where I was saying. Cindy has offered me one of her spare rooms until I can find a job and afford a place of my own."

"That's generous of her."

"Yeah, it's a win-win situation. She needs company and I need a place to stay. She came home early from work one day last month and walked in on her husband with some blond bimbo half his age. Needless to say she kicked him out on the street... literally. He got a concussion and had to spend a night in hospital for observation."

"Ouch! I mean he probably deserved it... but ouch... It kind of put things in perspective. I'm glad you're not the violent type..."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. I throw a mean punch for a girl."

"Gee, thanks for the warning."

"Don't cross me again and _you'll be fine_." Marian allowed a hint of a scowl onto her face. "If I ever were to walk in on a situation like that…," she trailed off and made a strangling motion with her hands.

Robin felt himself stiffen _involuntarily at her words_, images coming to the fore of his mind with blinding clarity. The microwave beeped signalling the food was done. _Thankful for the interruption__, _Robin took some cutlery out of the dishwasher and began setting the table.

"You're awfully quiet all of a sudden," Marian commented_with a thoughtful_ expression. "_Did I Hit A Nerve__? _You know what, if there is anything more you need to tell me, now is the time. Cause whatever it is, I'm pretty sure you can't hurt me anymore than you already have," her hands went to her chest, almost as if she expected to find a wound there.

One look at Marian and Robin knew he needed to come clean once and for all. "That party at my house, the condom wrapper you found...." he paused, studying his feet, too afraid to look at her face. "Something kind of did happen that night...."

"Stop, I have heard enough! No details..," she said weakly holding on to the edge of the sink for support.

"Marian, honey, I know you must be mad. Kick and scream if it makes you feel better. Don't hold back and don't shut me out this time. I don't think I can handle it if you left town again."

"I'm not mad, disappointed maybe....but how can I be mad when you actually told the truth for once," she shook her head, hot bitter tears rolling down her cheeks. "Besides, it's in the past. I'm not going to let it get to me. We are starting over as friends, remember?," she took a few deep breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating.

"I want to be so much more than just your friend. I want you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to make you trust me again. Because there is no one else in this world I rather be with. In fact I haven't been with anyone else since you and I...uhm...you know...."

"I don't want anyone else either. But we need to start over somewhere and I don't think I can handle anything more than friendship right now."

"Then friendship it is." He squeezed her hand and looked deeply into her eyes. He wanted to kiss her but this would have to do... for now. He wasn't giving up hope just yet. Someday, they would be together again.... he just knew it...

The end!


End file.
